Be respectful: Making fun of other people is great – but not when you’re trying to develop a relationship. You don’t have to agree with one another, but at least don’t belittle the other person’s beliefs. So, get in the habit of saying things like, “While I don’t share your feelings about Mitt Romney (or President Obama), I respect them.”
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Share the remote: Don’t watch Bill Maher in front of your partner if he or she is a Bill O’Reilly fan. DVR all your favorite programs, and sneak out of bed to watch them in the middle of the night while your partner sleeps. Or, watch clips online at work, like a real American. Or, use those shows as punishment for one another. If she overcooks or burns dinner, she must watch an episode of Bill Maher’s show. If you forget her birthday, get ready to watch Bill O’Reilly’s.
Show your true colors: If you’re really itching to show your pride, passive-aggressively support your political party by wearing red or blue garb. Your significant other will never know that you are secretly campaigning, and if they call you out, you can make THEM look crazy. “OMG, you can’t even look at the color red without thinking of Sarah Palin?!?” This is a technique known as “Gaslighting” – making someone think that they are actually going crazy. And romantic relationships don’t get much more fun than that.
If all else fails, cut and run: Americans only get worked up about politics every four years (or two, if you’re a midterm person). Tell your partner you’ve been called out of town on business until November 9. That will give him or her a few days after the election to stop gloating and/or crying. Meanwhile you can sip drinks by the pool in sunny Canada. Dysfunctional? Of course. What’s your point?
Politics aside, a wise person once said that the four most important words a man can use to ensure longevity in a relationship are “I’m sorry” and “Yes, dear.” Although I’m also a big fan of flowers and an evening of love-making. Just be sure that neither the flowers nor the bed sheets are red, white and blue.
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