“People are not born with good communication skills and most people never learn such skills,” says Baer. “Since most marriages fail due to communication issues, I would say that this is an excellent reason to participate in premarital counseling.”
The Cons of Premarital Counseling
1. It Can Create Bigger Problems
What if your premarital counseling actually creates more problems between you and your mate than you had before you even stepped into your therapist’s office?
“Premarital counseling has the potential of creating problems, in that it causes people to think about and discuss issues they may never have considered,” says Baer. “While this can be viewed as a con, I would propose that it is also a pro because it forces the discussion before marriage, as opposed to after marriage. Why not be preventative and not reactive?”
2. The Counseling May Not Be That Good
“As with anything, some marriage counselors are better than others,” advises Baer. “If a couple goes to a marriage counselor, who is not particularly skilled at conflict resolution, what happens if the couple argue over an issue raised in the counseling?”
Just like buying a car requires you to take a few different vehicles for a test drive, you have to do your research when it comes to finding a therapist, or you may wind up working with someone who hinders your relationship more than they help it! A skilled marriage counselor should be well aware of the issues that tend to cause divorce and should also be skilled at properly addressing those issues!
3. You May Wind Up Calling Off Your Wedding
If seeing a therapist brings up major issues for you and your partner, it could turn into an argument that ends with you calling off your engagement. While this is not ideal, it can also save you from marrying someone who is not right for you and it can also save you from the heartbreak of divorce.
While there are a few potential cons to premarital counseling, the positives far outweigh the negatives. Couples therapy is a great way for engaged couples to discuss major issues in their relationship before saying “I do” for a lifetime. Nothing can guarantee a successful marriage, but premarital counseling can help you figure out what it takes to ensure your marriage will thrive!
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