ProConnect

The Perils of Divorced Parents who Date

By

The Perils of Divorced Parents who Date
It can get a little weird for your kids when you're the one asking for dating advice.

By Jennifer Powell-Lunder, Psy.D. for GalTime.com

“I know technically I’m an adult,” the 19-year-old girl tells me, “but my dad keeps ogling my friends, and my mom asked my boyfriend if he knows someone for her. I mean, really?”

More from YourTango: Want To Improve Your Marriage? Get Organized With Weekly Meetings

I have to admit I am slightly taken aback by her comments. My own experiences with both of her parents over the years have been great. They are loving, caring and supportive people who have always put the needs of their child first, at least when she was a child.

We live in an era when divorce is not uncommon. According to government statistics, the rate has been holding steady over the last few decades at around 40% for first marriages and 60% for second. While the majority of marriages fail within the first five years, there is an inordinate number of middle age couples divorcing. A large proportion of these couples have children in their teenage years and above.

Interestingly, but perhaps not surprisingly, research confirms that the divorce rate for individuals 50 and older reflects the greatest increase among any age group. A large proportion of these individuals are reportedly empty nesters.

RELATED Understanding How Assets Get Divided in Divorce

In the meantime, the media is filled with pictures of mixed-age couples. Although the relationship has ended, Ashton and Demi dominated the celeb social scene for years. Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones are another power couple, and Alec Baldwin who at age 54 married 28-year-old yoga instructor Hilaria Thomas are now expecting a baby.

While it may currently be commonplace to date younger individuals in Hollywood, most of us aren’t celebrities. You can date younger, of course, but if you are a parent, you have to realize that your kids would certainly appreciate you being discreet, to put it mildly .

So PARENTS, here a few things to remember when it comes to dating:

More from YourTango: How Often Should You Bathe Your Baby?


1. Your children are not matchmakers, nor do they want to be put in that role. While on occasion an adult child may find a suitable someone for her mom or dad, I can assure you this is the exception, NOT the rule.

2. No matter how old the age of your child, you are his parent, NOT his friend. Yes, it is true that the older your kids get, the less they rely on you but at all ages children turn to their parents for guidance and support. There may indeed come a time when the role reverses, and your child is charged with caring for you, but hopefully that time is many years away.

Share this with someone you love (or even like a lot)!

Let's make it
FB official
Recent Expert Posts
shame

How to Get Over Your Stinkin' Thinkin'

Recognize "Stinkin Thinkin" that leads to depression and turn it into positive action and success.

valentines-flowers-surprise

Why Breakups Hurt

Breakups hurt us even when there is no love lost.

Brain

Why Do Men Hide Their Emotions?

The emotional processing in the male and female brain is not the same....

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

Resources
How to find the right pro for you
10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

YourTango Experts can help your business go from good to great.

10 Steps To Improve Your Coaching Business

Take your coaching business from mediocre to great in no time…

Frequently Asked Questions About YourTango Experts

Thinking of joining? Here's all the facts you need to know to make the most of your membership.

Getting Your Guy To Join You In A Therapy Or Coaching Session

So how can your get your strong, self-reliant, superman to talk to an Expert with you?

Therapist/Counselors: Who We Are & What We Do

What exactly does a therapist/counselor do and can they really help?

See more resources>
HOT STUFF!
FROM OUR PARTNERS