5. If your children want to call the other parent that is not with with them on the holiday -- let them! It’s not a mine-or-yours holiday. Focus on making it great for your kids. Teach them the joy of sharing holiday kindness with everyone.
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Now that you’ve resolved to be cool for the kids, you still have to deal with your own feelings. Here are some things you can do to ease the roughness of the holidays as a split family.
1. Remind yourself of the reason for the season. Keep that as your main focus. Volunteer your time to help others with no family at all. Visit the elderly. Bring joy to those that you are spending your holiday time. If you find yourself feeling down, talk to someone. Sometimes just talking out your feelings and having someone else understand can make you feel better.
2. Create your own calendar. Just because it’s not your year for New Year's doesn’t mean you can’t have New Year's a few days before or after the “official” holiday. Who says there has to be an exact day to toast sparkling apple cider and ring noisemakers?
3. Surround yourself with family and friends. Resist the urge to be by yourself because you just don’t feel the same without your usual gang with you. Put on a smile and be thankful that you do have family and friends to be with. Know that your presence there is making someone happy.
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4. Look at the bigger picture. Sure it stinks diving holidays and spending holidays without your children at times. Look at it this way -- it’s just a day, one day out of 365. Make your others days special and you won’t be so sad about having ONE DAY not be exactly as you might want it.
What are your tips for seeing your kids -- and yourself -- through the holidays when you're separated or divorced?
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