Why Men Are Settling For Mrs. Good Enough

to the YourTango newsletter!

FIND AN EXPERT
Advanced SearchKimberly SeltzerDr. Erica  GoodstoneJennifer Chappell Marsh MFT Intern #65184
ProConnect

Premarital Cohabitation: Living In Reality Or Living In Sin?

By . Posted on .

two toothbrushes
To move in or not to move in, that is the question! Is it OK for folks to shack up before marriage?

By Straight Male Friend Marcus Osborne for GalTime.com

Periodically, I meet people who still hold fast to the idea of not living with your significant other unless there's a wedding addendum attached to the live-in love agreement. Personally, I don't care one way or the other if a couple decides to "play house." However, there are some definite old-schoolers, traditionalists, and religious types who, in no uncertain terms, will not go for "living in sin" — ever. But if I ever decide to get married again, there's no way I'm not moving in with her first. Here's why.

Related: 'Exclusive', But NOT 'Serious'...What?!

There's no amount of sleepovers that comes close to duplicating the day-to-day rigors of life with another human being sleeping next to you each evening. No plurality of extended vacations matches the daily grind of working through financial decisions big and small. And let's not forget the wealth of easily concealed habits that conspire to drive one to stand up and say, "Hi, my name is Marcus…and I'm an alcoholic."

Let's keep it real. When you live with someone, you sometimes discover how little you actually know about them and then you have to figure out how to make your dysfunctions work with their dysfunctions. Are All Guys A**holes? EXPERT

Maybe I'm crazy for wanting my daughter to live with her fiance for at least a year before they decide to lock it down. But I would rather she discover that the guy is a d-bag before the paperwork is done. If she's living with him, she can just walk out. If she’s married to that joker, I might have to pull a Suge Knight to extricate her from the situation. And Daddy doesn’t want to do that.

Related: Are You Unrealistic About Romance?

Here are some fun facts about cohabitation:

  • Living together is considered to be more stressful than being married.
  • Just over 50% of first cohabiting couples ever get married.
  • In the United States and in the UK, couples who live together are at a greater risk for divorce than non-cohabiting couples.
  • Couples who lived together before marriage tend to divorce early in their marriage. If their marriage last seven years, then their risk for divorce is the same as couples who didn’t cohabit before marriage.
  • In France and Germany cohabiting couples have a slightly lower risk of divorce.
  • If cohabitation is limited to a person’s future spouse; there is no elevated risk of divorce.
  • In the U.S., cohabiting couples taking premarital education courses or counseling are not at a higher risk for divorce.

So what do you think? Should folks shack up or wait until marriage? Online Dating Fatigue: 5 Steps To Recovery EXPERT

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

GalTime .com

Author, Dating Coach, Divorce Coach, Family Coach, Life Coach, Marriage and Family Therapist, Marriage Educator, Organization, Relationship Coach, Sex Coach, YourTango Expert Partner

Galtime.com. Everyone needs a little galtime!

Location: Somerset, MA
Credentials: Other
Specialties: Couples/Marital Issues, Empowering Women, Parenting
Website: GalTime.com
Other Articles/News by GalTime .com :

Manspeak: 10 "Dude-isms" Translated

By

By SMF Marcus Osborne for GalTime.com I think it's fair to say that, in general, men are more straightforward than women. Ask a guy if he likes your hairstyle and he'll give you a solid "Yes" or "No." There's usually not a deeper explanation for those answers. A man's statements are what they are: simple, straightforward ... Read more

Eco-Friendly Tips for Spring Cleaning Your Home-- and Your Life

By

By EcoChi's Debra Duneier for GalTime.com This is the season of hope, optimism and a chance for a fresh start. As the season of spring enters it brings with it, the energy of rebirth. Think of the smell of new grass, rain showers and bulbs pushing through the soil with their long awaited colorful blossoms. Follow these tips to clean up your act in time ... Read more

We're Got an Early Onset Career Crisis: How to Cope

By

By Danielle Miller, GalTime.com It looks like the job market is bleak for new college grads and young professionals. A new report says one out of two young college grads is either unemployed or underemployed in jobs that don't fully use their skills. Many professionals who do have jobs are struggling to keep those positons. The uncertain job climate ... Read more

See More

Recent Expert Posts
Press Conference

DeMistyfy Your Dating: Radio Interview: [EXPERT]

And yes, we spelled it that way for a reason! Listen to this humorous interview of Spike and learn!

Running Woman

Post-Divorce Growth…After They Go, Grow [EXPERT]

Identify your positive changes post-divorce. Make it a growth experience!

No Love

Married and Fighting? It May Signify a Solid Relationship

Married couples can be too harmonious. Find out how much discord creates dynamic relationships.

Have a dating or relationship question?
Ask it here and one of our experts will answer it.

Resources
How to find the right pro for you
10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

YourTango Experts can help your business go from good to great.

10 Steps To Improve Your Coaching Business

Take your coaching business from mediocre to great in no time…

Frequently Asked Questions About YourTango Experts

Thinking of joining? Here's all the facts you need to know to make the most of your membership.

Getting Your Guy To Join You In A Therapy Or Coaching Session

So how can your get your strong, self-reliant, superman to talk to an Expert with you?

Therapist/Counselors: Who We Are & What We Do

What exactly does a therapist/counselor do and can they really help?

See more resources>
FROM OUR PARTNERS