Letting Go of Past Loves
By GalTime .com. Posted on .
Daniel is in his late 40′s. He’s got lots of hair on his head and money in the bank. Most importantly, he’s got a heart of gold. Seriously, he’s truly a mensch and will make a wonderful husband and father, if he gives himself the opportunity. You see Daniel has a very specific taste in women. It’s basically the exact same taste that he had when he was in his 20′s. I won’t go into details, but let’s just say that what he’s looking for was probably out of his league in his prime. Now it’s impossible. Like I said, he’s a great guy, but he’s much too old for the girls he’s yearning for. And he pretty much looks his age. But Daniel is comfortably entrenched in his vision of the past, and is committed to waiting for “true love” in the form of a youthful looking super model, just a few years out of college. There are plenty of attractive and personable women within ten years of his age who would almost definitely make him happy, if he gave himself a chance. But no, he’s waiting for true love, the true love of his past, and he won’t “settle” for anything less.
2. Getting Hung Up on Age
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Lisa was a hot ticket in her 20′s and most of her 30′s. Now she’s in her 40′s and still looking good. She always dated guys within a couple of years of her, on either side. Now things are a little more challenging. Most guys in their early to mid 40′s want to date women in their 30′s (That’s a fact, so accept it). Lisa is still living in her 30′s, searching for that successful 30-something hunk to swoop down from his hedge fund trading desk and whisk her away to a romantic getaway at his Hampton’s house (fully owned, no shares). Things aren’t going so well for her, and her future is not so slowly being erased by past.
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3. Clinging to the Memory of an Old Flame
Carla recently broke 40 and is hotter and more accomplished than ever. She had a major love affair in her late 20′s to early 30′s that didn’t pan out. Since then she’s been comparing every guy she dates to her old flame, and has passed on lots of good ones because they just didn’t match up to her vision of manhood (she calls it true love). So, instead of being in a relationship (maybe even a mommy several times over), she is alone, by choice, waiting for true love to revisit after so many years of absence. Unfortunately, 40′s true love is gonna look much different than it did in her age of innocence.
What happens to people who continue living in the past? Many of them hold on to their fantasies until they reach the stage (drop the st) where they just decide to give up. Then they have two choices. Either they make peace with their eternal single status and “enjoy” life on their own, or they marry someone they should have married twenty years before. It's then that that these folks can finally find the happiness that they now understand comes from a loving, caring relationship.
But why wait until the point of surrender? Why not close that door to the past for good and join the world of the present where people age and grow and mature and enter relationships and love and care and share and live meaningful lives?
How have you moved on from a past love?
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