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One of the main reasons singles in their late thirties and beyond (who are longing to be married) stay solo has nothing to do with “not meeting the right one.” The “good ones” meet lots of potential right ones. The problem is that they compare potential partners to their great love (actual or imagined). The new guy or girl doesn’t stand a chance.
“I had a shot at my dream person, and there’s no way I’m giving up and settling for anything less. I’ll wait until I meet my ideal Mr/Ms right again.”
The only problem is that these folks forget that they were at least ten years younger when the relationship that's seared in their memories occurred. They were different people. So were the men and women they were dating. In their minds they are still the same fun loving, upbeat twenty-somethings with unlimited options and time. Instead of updating their software to reflect their changing environment, they choose to remain blissfuly entrenched in the old programs they remember enjoying. They choose to stick with their Atari instead of switching to the latest Xbox. Remember how challenging those space invaders were?
I’ll drop the analogies so as not to throw anyone of topic and keep it as raw as I can. If you think you can attract the same guy or girl that you did when you were 29 now that you are 39, you are living a fantasy that is destroying your future. You are trading real happiness for the promise of “true love” that exists only in your imagination.
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Here are some of the most common examples of ways we hold on to past loves.
1. Being Stuck in a Different Decade