Let's Face it, You Are So NOT The Cool Girlfriend

By

Let's Face it, You Are So NOT The Cool Girlfriend
When you first meet a great guy, do you get "cool girlfriend" syndrome?

By Stephenie Zamora, GalTime.com

You know her... the girl that's super chill and laid back, loves sports and never gets upset about anything. The one that dresses sexy all the time, shaves her legs daily (just because she likes to) and isn't big on talking, "feelings."

She's also the same girl that finds herself single (again) three to six months down the road, wondering what the heck went wrong this time?

Does this sound like you? Maybe you some of the time?

Related: Why Amazing Confident Women Remain Single

The above is an exaggerated version of what I like to call, the cool girlfriend syndrome. You meet a great guy who fits everything on your list-- good job, good looking, funny, etc. You've decided that he's perfect and you're determined to make sure he thinks that same of you. So you turn all,cool and casual. He likes you because you're not like other girls, you're more carefree, fun, sexy. You withhold certain aspects of your personality or life, for fear that they'll turn him off in the beginning.

So then why the big shock when the relationship can't make it past the 6-month point?

This is about authenticity ladies.

Being authentic, truly and completely you... that's known as authenticity. And if you're not presenting the full and authentic version of you, you're going to end up dating all the wrong men and finding yourself ALONE. No fun, right?

Why spend so much time trying to attract and keep someone that doesn't even love you for who you are? And it's not their fault if you've misrepresented yourself or withheld important details about your personality-- it's yours. All you're doing is setting yourself up for a miserable life. Being inauthentic can only lead to one of two outcomes, the first being breakup after breakup... the second? Having to commit to a life of acting like something you're not in order to keep someone from leaving.

Related: 5 Signs You're Not Ready for Dating

I don't care how great you think they make you feel, you can not be happy if you're not being true to yourself.

HOW TO ATTRACT THE RIGHT GUY

1. Be you
This sounds obvious, but I know it can be surprisingly hard to pull off sometimes. Look, if you want to find a man that is perfect for you, that will love you totally and completely, and will want to spend forever treating you like the amazing beauty that you are... you have to be real. Up front. No withholding. No "cool girlfriend syndrome."

If you're worried that your taste in clothing, your car, or your guilty pleasures (*ahem* reality TV anyone?) will be a turn off to the person you're with, the best thing to do is OUT THEM! You don't want to be with someone who can't love you for ALL that you are, guilty pleasures and bad shoes included.

2. Get real about what you want from a man

This article was originally published at . Reprinted with permission.
PARTNER POSTS
Latest Expert Videos
Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

Most Popular