to the YourTango newsletter!

Continue to Site »»

ProConnect

Let's Face it, You Are So NOT The Cool Girlfriend

By . Posted on .

Let's Face it, You Are So NOT The Cool Girlfriend
When you first meet a great guy, do you get "cool girlfriend" syndrome?

By Stephenie Zamora, GalTime.com

You know her... the girl that's super chill and laid back, loves sports and never gets upset about anything. The one that dresses sexy all the time, shaves her legs daily (just because she likes to) and isn't big on talking, "feelings."

More from YourTango: The One Thing He Can't Do For You

She's also the same girl that finds herself single (again) three to six months down the road, wondering what the heck went wrong this time?

Does this sound like you? Maybe you some of the time?

Related: Why Amazing Confident Women Remain Single

The above is an exaggerated version of what I like to call, the cool girlfriend syndrome. You meet a great guy who fits everything on your list-- good job, good looking, funny, etc. You've decided that he's perfect and you're determined to make sure he thinks that same of you. So you turn all,cool and casual. He likes you because you're not like other girls, you're more carefree, fun, sexy. You withhold certain aspects of your personality or life, for fear that they'll turn him off in the beginning.

So then why the big shock when the relationship can't make it past the 6-month point?

This is about authenticity ladies.

Being authentic, truly and completely you... that's known as authenticity. And if you're not presenting the full and authentic version of you, you're going to end up dating all the wrong men and finding yourself ALONE. No fun, right?

Why spend so much time trying to attract and keep someone that doesn't even love you for who you are? And it's not their fault if you've misrepresented yourself or withheld important details about your personality-- it's yours. All you're doing is setting yourself up for a miserable life. Being inauthentic can only lead to one of two outcomes, the first being breakup after breakup... the second? Having to commit to a life of acting like something you're not in order to keep someone from leaving.

Related: 5 Signs You're Not Ready for Dating

I don't care how great you think they make you feel, you can not be happy if you're not being true to yourself.

HOW TO ATTRACT THE RIGHT GUY

1. Be you
This sounds obvious, but I know it can be surprisingly hard to pull off sometimes. Look, if you want to find a man that is perfect for you, that will love you totally and completely, and will want to spend forever treating you like the amazing beauty that you are... you have to be real. Up front. No withholding. No "cool girlfriend syndrome."

More from YourTango: How To Get Financially Stable After Divorce

If you're worried that your taste in clothing, your car, or your guilty pleasures (*ahem* reality TV anyone?) will be a turn off to the person you're with, the best thing to do is OUT THEM! You don't want to be with someone who can't love you for ALL that you are, guilty pleasures and bad shoes included.

2. Get real about what you want from a man

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

GalTime .com

Author

Galtime.com. Everyone needs a little galtime!

Location: Somerset, MA
Credentials: Other
Specialties: Couples/Marital Issues, Empowering Women, Parenting
Other Articles/News by GalTime .com :

The One Thing He Can't Do For You

By

By Marcus Osborne for GalTime.com If there’s one thing that I’m constantly reminding people of when they tap me on the shoulder seeking advice about their either their particular situation or some general question, it’s this: people asking for advice have usually already made up their minds about their issue. So why are they asking for ... Read more

How To Get Financially Stable After Divorce

By

By Jeff Landers for GalTime.com As a divorcing woman, you are no doubt looking forward to having the whole divorce process over with, so you can move ahead to your new life. If you’re like most women, you probably think the past few months (or years!) have been filled with enough emotional upheaval, not to mention legal and financial hassle, for a ... Read more

Relax: It's Okay If You Don't Obsess Over Your Baby's Milestones

By

With my first daughter, I carefully preserved every memory, writing down detailed letters to her every week and updating her baby book with each milestone from her first tooth to her first haircut. As a parent, I was certain I would treasure each and every memory forever. Fast forward four years and after having two more children, I'm having trouble ... Read more

See More

Recent Expert Posts
Walk

How to Stretch Time

Stretching time is not difficult if you have the prerequisites: self-awareness, a sense of purpose,

Gaggle

An Invitation

Ever wondered how to find a great yoga teacher or how to grow as a teacher?

Staycation

The Easest Way To Get Your Ex Back

Tired of calling, texting, or even shoowing up at his door step to try and get your ex to ...

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

Resources
How to find the right pro for you
10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

YourTango Experts can help your business go from good to great.

10 Steps To Improve Your Coaching Business

Take your coaching business from mediocre to great in no time…

Frequently Asked Questions About YourTango Experts

Thinking of joining? Here's all the facts you need to know to make the most of your membership.

Getting Your Guy To Join You In A Therapy Or Coaching Session

So how can your get your strong, self-reliant, superman to talk to an Expert with you?

Therapist/Counselors: Who We Are & What We Do

What exactly does a therapist/counselor do and can they really help?

See more resources>
HOT STUFF!
FROM OUR PARTNERS