- Own your feelings. It is possible to dramatically change your experience in love, but first youmust take responsibility for your part in the breakdown of connection and communication within the relationship. The source of your reactions began early in life, but that does not mean you can use that as an excuse for your behavior as an adult. At some point, you need to stop blaming your parents for the way you were raised. No matter how unfair your circumstances were as a young child, you are not forever destined to have those experiences define your behavior and character. You do have the inner strength to change and not be enslaved by childhood responses.
- Forgive. The only way to be set free from the bondage of wrong thinking is to forgive the person you believe is responsible for your fears. When you formed these emotional armors, they helped you survive that environment. As an adult, you can make the life you choose. The key element is forgiveness, not only forgiving that person, but also yourself. It is important to release the guilt that surfaces when you do and say things you’d wish you didn’t to those you love.
In love, you can embrace childlike qualities of openness, honesty and trust to communicate with your significant other AND stay in the present moment of the relationship. Emotionally, it is vital to grow out of the formative years so you can love without the fears of the past blocking the way.
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