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Magic happens when we give our undivided attention to sex as opposed to simply showing up for the event to say we were there or to quiet the protests of our hungry mate. The former improves our sense of self and boosts our self-esteem. The latter erodes it. When our self-esteem is high, we have greater self-agency, and are more likely to feel optimistic about life and believe that we were instrumental in making things so good. And yet, despite the magic-potion qualities that non-coercive, respectful sex can hold, it’s a rare woman who will turn to it to lift her mood. It's an even rarer one who will look to her body as a comforting home base and a reminder that having sex can be a tonic for feeling better about who she is.
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I say stop and feel the treasures to be had and behold in the experiences of your flesh. Use your skin as your greatest sexual organ, and be grateful for all the good sensations you can feel simply by being you. Walk into your sexual experiences with mindfulness and deserved expectations for respect and pleasure, and you will be more likely to walk away feeling more powerful because of it.
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