I ignored my own “Only Tip You Really Need” and went to dinner with a new guy. He took me to a supper club that puts on a Drag Queen Revue. Everyone there --including all the Drag Queen Performers — knew him by name. I thought this was an odd choice of venue, but decided not to be judgmental. I kept pushing to the back of my mind the question as to why a supposedly straight guy was so well-known here. The first show was quite enjoyable, though I was more concerned when we stayed for the second show. He had an extreme amount of empathy for the performers who, he explained “had very difficult lives trying to reconcile their male and female sides”. No doubt, that is true. But I was a little alarmed at how passionate he was while making this argument. I also was uncomfortable with how well the performers knew him and how much vamping they displayed toward him while they were on stage. I decided to make the most of the evening and enjoyed the shows. As soon as I could, I told him I was tired and thought we should leave. I just never returned his call after that. It was just too complicated. I don't know why he was so involved in this community, though I assumed he was grappling with his own sexuality. At any rate, I didn’t feel he would give me an honest answer if I raised it. So why bother? Something wasn’t right…and I just went with me gut.
Related: Is the Dating Pool too Overcrowded?
8= He’s a Jerk
I had the misfortune to go on a date with a guy whose ex-wife happened to have the same birthday as mine. Once he had that bit of information, he proceeded to tell me all the ways I was probably just like his ex (“probably,” as he said, because he didn’t really know me, but since we had the same birthday). At first, I tried to laugh it off and even made a joke about it, while gently reminding him of the universal “you shouldn’t talk about your ex on a date” rule. When that didn’t work, I tried changing the subject a few times. That worked for the short-term, but he kept finding a way to sneak ex-wifey back into the mix. So, I suggested we cut the date short. With a sweet voice and a smile on my face, I pointed out that this clearly wasn’t going to be a love connection, thanked him for the evening, and wished him well. When a guy is consistently behaving like a jerk despite your efforts to turn things around, honesty is the best policy. He might not be a bad guy, but he’s not on “good date behavior” and you don’t have to accept that. If you’re not having a good time, politely cut your losses. Say good night.
10 = He’s a Psycho