My client, who had known this man for only an hour (give or take a few exchanged emails and texts), spent the entire time she was with him fantasizing about how she might exit the drama without hurting his feelings. The result was that not only did she see a part of him he most likely didn't want to share on a ﬁrst date, but she also became annoyed with herself for not speaking up. She felt bad that she could not set the boundary immediately. Had she followed the two steps outlined above, it would have been simple from the get-go. Knowing she did not want to do crisis management for a man she had just met, should would have stated simply, "Thanks for the coffee. It's such a drag your car was towed. I'm going to get on with my day now, but I look forward to hearing how it turns out when we talk next." Instead, she wondered why he didn't give her an out, excusing her from dealing with his mistake so she could get back to her life.
Related: Men Have It As Tough As Women?
Men deserve to know what you want so that they have an opportunity to deliver. It's that simple. Men are not mind readers. It's up to you to tell them what you want, need and expect.
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