You're already best buds. But when you look at him, you want something more. So how do you turn that BFF into a BF — and go from gal pal to girlfriend? We asked Galtime Dating Coach Dr. Jenn Oikle, PhD of My Soulmate Solution for some pointers. First up — how do you know if your guy pal may be looking for more?
"He's really engaged in the friendship — making equal investments in time, energy, attention, and emotion," Dr. Jenn says. "He calls to make plans, he lets you know he's thinking about you (calling, text[ing], sending links he thinks you'll like), he calls just to check in and see how something went that you told him you were doing. He asks your support on things going on in his life (troubles at work, with dating, etc)."
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But don't beat around the bush, she insists. If you really want to know, you've just got to come out and ask! Of course, many of us are scared to lay all our cards out on the table. After all, no one likes to be rejected — especially by a friend. But Dr. Jenn says it can be worth the risk.
"There is always the chance you could lose the friendship through awkwardness," she says. "But if done right, you really have nothing to lose!"
So are you ready to take the first steps? Dr. Jenn breaks it down for us with steps that won't scare your guy away.
1. Invite Him to Consider More. Bring your desire to be more than friends up in a casual, easy going way. Say something that leaves the door open for it going either way, like, "You know, some days, in some moments, I've felt a spark with you — which makes me wonder if there might be something more here. Have you ever noticed it?" See if he expresses any interest. If not,no harm, no foul — you just go back to being friends. If he has, go on to next step.
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2. Agree to an experiment. If he admits to feeling more and being curious about it, have a discussion about having an experiment to see what it feels like if you step into the romance department. By "experimenting," you both agree that for a period of time, say a month, you can play with more and see how it feels. But it also gives each of you an easy out if it doesn't feel right when you take the next step.
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