By Marianne Beach, from GalTime
Dating in a Facebook world? “It’s complicated!” to say the least. And a netiquette no-no can put serious strain on a new relationship—or end it all together.
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We decided to bring in the expert to help us navigate the shark-infested waters of dating in a social media world. Julie Spira is an online dating, relationship and netiquette expert. She writes about looking for love in a web 2.0 world on CyberDatingExpert.com and is working on her second book, The Rules of Netiquette: How to Mind Your Manners on the Web.
No “Friending” on the First Date
It may be terribly tempting to friend request the guy you met at the bar last night—especially if his Facebook page is locked up tight. After all, how else can you spy on those old photos of him and his ex that he hasn’t gotten around to taking down yet?
But Spira says: think before you friend. Chances are, you’re not on the same digital page yet. And a virtual friendship could ruin your chances of a real life relationship.
“It’s just too soon and you aren’t in a relationship, nor are you even really dating just yet,” she says. “One of you may be dating several people at a time, while the other may be single-focused. If you become Facebook friends prematurely, your relationship may end quickly as well.”
Or it may never get off the ground at all.
“I’ve known women who have cancelled dates after receiving a Facebook friends request,” she says.
Kiss and Don’t Tell
Want to know every last nauseating detail of your second cousin’s first date? How about your boss’s cutesy pet name for his third wife? Not so much, right? Well, most likely your friends aren’t interested in the nitty gritty of your love life either! So keep it offline.
“Saying I love you on Valentine’s Day is appropriate on your sweetheart’s wall if you’re friends on Facebook,” says Spira. “Saying I love you every day and talking about details of your first kiss on Facebook breaks the rules of netiquette. Your friends and you beau don’t always want you to "Kiss and Tell.’”
That goes for your relationship status as well.
“While your Facebook friends will be happy for your new found love, they really don’t want to watch your status change from ‘Single’ to ‘In a Relationship’ to ‘It’s Complicated’ and back to ‘Single’ again,” says Spira.
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What Happens on Facebook...
The date was fun, you had a few drinks, and it seemed like a good idea at the time. But before you post that funny status update or compromising photo—think twice. Remember what goes online stays there... forever.