Let’s face it. Most of us grown-ups relegate dating to the category of necessary but generally quite uncomfortable. As a guy, it’s sort of like getting a prostate check from a doctor with freakishly oversized hands.
But we do it because we must. That’s the way it’s always been done, right? How else does one meet “The One.” Love is a numbers game, is it not? You’ve got to get through your share of “duds” to find your “stud”, right?
Well, maybe not.
I’ve recently been having conversations with a number of women who, surprisingly (at least to me) abhor dating. I’m not sure if this is a new phenomenon or if I’ve just been out of the loop, but this has definitely taken me aback.
I chatted with a buddy of mine to get her take on the dating game and I was fascinated…and I wondered how many OTHER women feel this way? I sat down with a good friend, an actress who has appeared prominently in roles in motion pictures and primarily television, who decided to open up and share her thoughts on the condition of anonymity….
Lady Friend: I hate dating. I avoid it like the plague. I’ve only been out on two dates in my life. I just can’t “date”…it gives me anxiety attacks. There’s too much pressure and I’m picky as hell.
SMF: Wait a minute. If you don’t date, how do you meet Mr. Right?
LF: Ok, first, I’m 100% straight — in case you were wondering! But I’m not one of those people looking to get married. I’m 99% sure I’ll never get married. It’s not on my bucket list. My friends have all come to terms with it. They no longer say, “You’ll find someone.” I’ve been saying for years that I don’t want anybody. Every time I’ve ended up with a guy, we’ve been friends first. We’d become good friends and then things went from there. I wouldn’t want to be with someone I wasn’t friends with anyway. It’s never messed up the friendship when it ended, either.
SMF: Why does dating give you such anxiety?
LF: I don’t know. Maybe because of the dating “games”, like you said. I don’t like playing games with my heart. It’s too much pressure. Everyone is putting their best versions of themselves forward and it’s all kind of false advertising. I’d just rather not play and if I end up alone, I’m ok with that. Real talk…
SMF: Very real.