HOW TO SEE PEOPLE FOR WHO THEY REALLY ARE:
1) See them for who they really are, NOT who you want them to be.
Our biggest source of pain and frustration comes from lack of acceptance for what IS. You may be bummed that the super awesome client seems to be a major pain in the butt, but there’s nothing you can do or say to change who she is. Additionally, if they’re people who have no respect or consideration for you, they’ve got to go.
Be honest and let them know how you’re feeling. If THEY want to change, decide whether or not it’s worth YOUR time and energy to give it ONE shot. Only one. Don’t allow yourself to get stuck in a cycle of “change attempts.” Be very clear about what would need to change and let them decide if that’s doable. If they do, awesome. If they don’t, honor yourself and release them from your life.
2) TRUST your intuition.
If someone does or says something that feels off, wrong or hurtful to you, whether clear and obvious or indirectly, TRUST YOURSELF. When talking to new clients, keep an eye out for red flags such as inconsideration for your schedule, an alarming amount of contact or questions or hints that they believe whatever they say goes.
If you’re out with a guy, and he shows ANY sign of disrespect, selfishness, inconsideration or that he’s not really the right match for you, TRUST YOURSELF.
Don’t try to “talk it out” with the other person if alarm bells are sounding inside of you. If they want something, they’ll say and do whatever it takes in the moment to steer you away from putting an end to the situation. You are the only person who KNOWS what’s right or wrong for you, so listen, trust and act on that powerful force within you.
3) Send them off with love!
Just because someone’s truth isn’t right for, or doesn’t serve, you, doesn’t meant there’s anything wrong with them. It’s just who they are! There is someone out there who’s a better personal or professional match.
Thank them for their interest in being in your life or working with you, but let them know that this doesn’t feel like a good fit. No one can argue with what YOU feel. There’s no need to attack others, just let them be who they are and send them off with love. Wish them the best and move on with your life.
If they’re someone you can’t release, just stop engaging with them. If your Chatty Cathy co-worker tries to engage you in some office gossip, let her know you’re not interested. Don’t be unkind, but don’t go out of your way to talk with or engage her.
4) Or, learn to love them unconditionally.