“the first time someone shows you who they are, believe them.”
― maya angelou
The first week working with a new client, she says some things that really rub you the wrong way or make you feel as if she doesn’t respect you and your time… along with emailing you like a bazillion times. You brush it off; surely she can’t be that bad
You’re out with your new boyfriend and his co-workers for the first time, it’s a big night for your relationship and you’re excited… but what does he do? Completely ignore you the entire time. You let it go as an “off” night and try to chipper up.
At work, you have lunch with a nice female co-worker, you’re on the hunt for new friends, after all. She immediately starts to dish out all the gossip from around the office. While you’re not really comfortable, she seems nice enough so you smile and let it slide.
Related: 6 Simple Ways to Keep Calm at Work
So, when a month (or many) later you find yourself working with a client who completely disrespects your time and talent, a boyfriend who’s too concerned about other people to notice you and a co-worker who’s told all your business to everyone in the office, you have no one but yourself to hold responsible.
But before you beat yourself up, know that it’s not about blame.
It’s about recognizing that these people showed you, from day one, who they really are and you chose to ignore or not believe it. You excused it for them, didn’t set clear boundaries so that it wouldn’t happen again (and what would happen if it does) and showed them that you’re willing to put up with whatever they throw at you.
PEOPLE DON’T CHANGE UNLESS THEY WANT TO.
Unless something in their life prompts it.
You have to learn to see people for who they really are, right from the get-go. If you don’t like something about someone, or how they’re treating you, don’t expect that he or she is going to change just for you. It’s who they are. Expecting any different only leads to frustration, disappointment and more hurt or disrespect. Not worth it!
It’s okay to speak your mind and let them know what’s not working for you, but it’s not okay to expect them to change. More importantly, you have to honor yourself first and foremost. If someone is NOT a good fit for you, your life or your business, YOU are responsible for removing them. If they’re not showing you the level of respect or care you deserve, don’t expect that someday they’ll realize it and either change or remove themselves. Take responsibility.