Do NOT Marry Yourself
By GalTime .com. Posted on .
I wish the segment showed less of Nadine talking to herself in her rearview mirror, and more expert insight, from someone like Bella DePaulo, PhD, about the reality that singles face in our culture--and not having a wedding day is the LEAST of it (a cogent argument she makes in her must-read book "Singled Out").
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All in all, I think Nadine took an empowering and timely sentiment, and put clown makeup on it. My fear is that what could be seen as a brave, symbolic step in theory ends up sheer spectacle in practice.
And you now, it's too bad--because more and more people are realizing that there are many ways to live a life well outside the confines of traditional institutions (like, ahem, marriage). So, then, why take a fresh, inspiring message and cloak it in exactly that?
my 3 strategies for single peeps
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If you happen to be single and needing some support, here's some advice I offered on the show. (Also featured on the Anderson site complete with pics of sad looking ladies)
Stop singing the same tired song. You know the song: "There's no good men out there", "I'll never find anyone," "I'm a failure because I don't have a partner." What story do you keep telling people and why? I guarantee it's getting you nowhere fast. Focus on what you want now, not what happened in the past.
Tell family and friends to back down. Make it clear to them that you love them and appreciate their support, but your life is not a problem to be fixed. You have to lay down the law. And realize that if you're making choices for other people, you're not living your life. You're living theirs.
Redefine single: Broaden your perspective. As a single person, you have the ultimate and enviable freedom of connecting with whomever you want! It doesn't mean being a hermit. Figure out what it is you really want-and stop using fear as an excuse to not pursue meaningful connections with other people.
...And talk to someone. Such as a relationship and dating coach like me.
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