Do NOT Marry Yourself
By GalTime .com. Posted on .
By Terri Trespicio, for GalTime.com
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There once was a woman from Fargo who married herself. It's true. She's not the only one, either. But let's stick with Nadine, who was featured on the Anderson Cooper daytime show--and as an outspoken proponent of single living, I was asked to be on the segment to weigh in on the whole thing.
In brief, I think the woman did a cute, quirky thing that I'm sure she knew would get a lot of attention (I don't buy the "who, me?" approach she takes). Ok, that's the end of the brief part.
what does this do, really?
If you ask me, she's actually undermining the single movement. When you get married, you're not single anymore. Nadine has effectively removed herself from the dating pool, since she's married to herself. She's opting out of being single. She doesn't get the benefits of either being married or single. Plus, she's buying into the idea that you need to be married to be complete. And you don't.
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(And, if you are married to yourself AND dating whomever you like, as Nadine seems to imply, is your marriage one of convenience, until someone better than, well, you comes along?)
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Look: I like the sentiment here. She decided to stop waiting around for some ideal mate and embrace her life and herself, and stand on her own. OK, fine. But: Please don't tell me we now all need to have a ceremony to do this. Please. I thought one of the great hidden benefits of being single was NOT having to spend thousands of dollars on a single day's event.
full disclosure.
Fact is, I actually had a dream myself years ago that I was getting married: I was in white dress, carrying red roses (reminiscent of my private all-girls' catholic high school graduation where grads take to the aisle in a white dress, something that always raised some flags for me). And in the dream, there was no man, nor was I waiting for one--and that was just fine with me. I call this metaphor. I call this A DREAM. I didn't run out and start printing invites.
what about the real single issues?
Now, let's get one thing straight: Nadine isn't marching on Washington to make her marriage legal--it was a ceremony, not a civil rights statement. I'm guessing, anyway, from the footage we see in the segment in which she kisses herself in the mirror, takes herself out for Indian food, and then home for a candlelit bath (all great things, though I don't call that a date. I call it living).
