- Understand that men are novelty-seeking machines. This is how they're wired. It's no different from the fact (and it is a fact) that whether you just started dating someone or have been married 15 years, he's going to look at, admire, and think about other women. This isn't supposed to depress you. The sooner you learn this, the better. Use it to your advantage. A man in your sights, no matter where you met him, is in your thrall. And unless you're on a horrible dating show where you're all contending for the same man on the same date in the same hot tub, every moment you're with him you have the ability to be the only woman in the room he's aware of. That's power.
- Don't wear your fear. There may be millions of single women out there (and in fact there are), but that doesn't change who you are. And there's only one of you. Believing that fewer women would make you more appealing is a pretty negative worldview--and when you believe it, it shows. It assumes your lovability is directly and inversely related to how many people are out there. But if you live in accordance with this fear, trust me, it will read that way. You wear your fear like a scarf soaked in lousy perfume--people see it, smell it, and respond to it (probably by moving away). As my late uncle, Rev. Robert Barone said to me many times, "Terri, don't be a desperate woman."
Sound advice indeed.
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