Dating Overload: Is The Dating Pool Too Crowded?
By GalTime .com. Posted on .
These fears work against your efforts to meet, connect with, and date new people. So let's get a few things straight.
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More choices don't mean better ones. It's a quantity over quality issue here folks. The woman I spoke with intellectually knows that having too many options doesn't mean she can't find connections. But emotionally, it's another story. There's a lot of interesting research into the psychology of choice, and how too many options affects how satisfied we are with the choices we make. (For more on that, check out Barry Schwartz's The Paradox of Choice and Sheena Iyengar's The Art of Choosing, both fascinating reads.) And anyone who's spent any time online dating knows that more doesn't equal better. If you find some people you like, it's a lot more compelling to spend more time with them than to go back to the drawing board over and over again. Trust me on this one. But that doesn't mean people don't peek. It's not a dig against you, by any means.
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Fearing other options puts you in a position of weakness. She said it herself: There are a lot of people out there. There will always be someone prettier or taller or thinner or younger. Doesn't matter. Attraction doesn't adhere to one set of rules. However, you have the power to ignite and stoke attraction simply by letting someone know you're attracted to them. You have more power than you think. You can't make other options cease to exist; you can, however, be one of the most appealing options--that is, if you even want to be. it's a two-way street. After all, if he isn't the most appealing option you have, why would YOU stop there? Exactly.
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Stop trying to control his choices, and control your own. It's called dating for a reason: because you're out to meet people. If a man goes on a date with you, that doesn't mean he will now cease to look, talk to, or date anyone ever again. So embrace it. If you feel good about yourself, then what do you care if he looks around? Go right ahead, I say. If something doesn't click, I'm certainly not going to blame it on a population explosion. It's not because there's SO many other great things out there. It's because we didn't have a connection. Period. Next.
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