SHOW SOME EMPATHY
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Put yourself in your partner’s shoes. By understanding their background (and baggage)you develop a sense of why they feel the way they feel. This understanding opens up the opportunity to validate your partner’s feelings by saying, “I understand why you feel that way. I understand why that would hurt or upset you, and I apologize.” Sometimes, oftentimes, our partners just want to be heard and/or understood. I think this is one of guys’ most common communication mistakes. Women want acknowledgement, guys want to prove their point – which makes men oblivious to the obvious – ladies want that emotional validation.
MOVE ON. TOGETHER
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Once you reach a point where there’s understanding, true understanding of one another’s message, you have the liberty to simply disagree and move forward. “Honey, I understand. We just don’t agree.”
And partners must be willing to accept that they will not always agree. And this should NOT be taken as a personal affront. Sometimes folks simply disagree. And if you truly understand your partner, you understand why they see the world the way they see it and you understand how that world view informs their perspectives and opinions and feelings.
It all comes back to effectively conveying your message though. This must be the focus of your communication.
What tips and tricks have you tried with your partners that allow you to “get where they’re coming from?”
Find me @smfmarcus.
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