I once went out with a woman who insisted that I tell her everything that annoyed me about her. For me this was overkill. For her, it was just a way of putting all our cards on the table. But I found it extremely difficult and unnecessary. Why? Because even though there were minor things about this woman that I found bothersome, they were minor things. They were minor nuisances that in all likelihood were never going to change and they weren't deal-breakers. But she insisted on knowing because…well, I'm still not quite sure how that exercise was supposed to be helpful. Who among us couldn't come up with a ledger of negatives about the person we're seeing? Question is: is it worth it to tell your partner every little thing that bugs you about them?
I caught an episode of NBC's family drama "Parenthood" the other night. On the show, one of the lead married male characters is, without provocation, kissed by a female co-worker. His dilemma: Do I tell my wife? He decides to do the honest thing and tell his wife. And his wife goes ballistic, basically accusing him of doing something to make this other woman feel like it was okay to make that move. Now she doesn't trust him.
Was it worth it?
What do you think? Do you tell everything? Are you and your partner completely open and honest - if so has it ever posed a problem? Do you and your partner talk about everything? Is everything on the table? What, if anything, isn't worth "having a talk" in your mind?
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