By Marina Sbrochi, for GalTime.com
Divorce sucks, no two ways about it. I’ve been there. I actually had a “nice” divorce and it still was awful. That being said, I couldn’t be happier right now.
If you find yourself divorced later in life, does it suck more? Actually, no...it doesn’t have to. I won’t lie to you and tell you it will be easy. It won’t. But that doesn’t mean you can’t do it. You can.
The truth is this: So much of your life has been spent as a couple and now you are no longer coupled up. It’s going to be hard to stop saying “we” after so many years. It’s going to feel as if you are the only single person amidst all of your old friends. Trust me, you aren’t the only one.
What's painful today could be an opportunity to be happier tomorrow. Divorce can be an opportunity to change, no matter what your age. The key is to refocus. You can stay home, sulk and whine and lament on everything that you used to have, or can use this moment to make a positive change. You can choose to see it as an opportunity to reinvent yourself. It is all in the attitude.
Give yourself some time to grieve, then make a plan to move on. Here's how:
1. Bury It - It’s over. Resolve here and now to bury the past that you cannot change. If you spend your time rehashing the last 18 years and bemoan everything you went through in your marriage, you will never move forward. Write down the top ten things that went wrong. Read it and take note to steer clear of those mistakes again (and beware, this can happen easily in a rebound relationship). Now trash it. Say goodbye to the past and take out a new piece of paper; this is your future. This doesn’t mean you didn’t enjoy many good years together or you didn’t raise wonderful children. It just means this chapter is closing and you are opening a new one.
2. Goal-Tending - Now that you have buried the past, set your sights on the wonderful future that awaits you. Get a new sheet a paper and write down ten things you have always wanted to do. Set a plan for doing them. There is nothing holding you back now. This is your opportunity to start fresh. Dream big! The great news about divorcing later in life is the wisdom you have gained over the years. You are smart enough to know what you want. You are experienced enough to plan it. This is your opportunity to start fresh. Dream big!