Sign 4: A Reoccurring Issue. “One type of red flag that usually can be greatly helped by therapy is an issue that has been difficult in the relationship from the beginning, but regardless of endless discussions, never seems to pass," explains Dr. Julie Gurner. “When you see that the same issues are coming up again and again in disagreements, it is a good sign they are not effectively being resolved and the couple is at a 'sticking point.'” Dr. Gurner encourages couples to seek help to save “many years of trouble down the road.”
Sign 5: Finances. Disagreements over money are one of the top reasons couples find themselves in conflict. If your spouse keeps you in the dark about family finances or feels the need to control everything related to money, it may be time to speak up. Christine K. Clifford, CEO/President of Divorcing Divas, suggests you say, “I want to be aware of our debt, our monthly bills, the balance on our mortgage, how many savings/checking accounts we have, etc." Clifford explains, "If your spouse objects, it’s time to see a counselor.” .
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Sign 6: Kids. Yes, children are a blessing, but they can also add stress to your marriage, especially if the two of you are not a united front. Clifford suggests seeking counseling if you disagree with each other's parenting styles and frequently argue about how your children should be raised. “Think Katie Holmes-- and how she doesn't want Suri raised as a Scientologist," states Clifford. These are major issues that need to be resolved.”
Sign 7: You Still Love Your Spouse. If you still love your spouse, really want to make things work, and haven't been successful, then consider finding a counselor. Dr. Gurner also stresses the point that you need to seek advice before things escalate and you truly despise the other person. “Be a proactive couple who strives to solve issues before they tear at the fabric of your deepest bonds of trust and intimacy.”
Whether you choose to seek help or continue down your current path-- be aware that counseling does not “break couples up” or even “hold them together.” As Silvia M. Dutchevici says, “Couples counseling is about helping the couple communicate better and understand what is going on.”
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