By now, your college freshmen have been away from home for about two weeks and you and they are adjusting in different ways and at different rates.
It's not that easy, is it? When I dropped my daughter off at college I felt that she was being kidnapped by the school, but I couldn't exactly figure out why I was paying so much money in tuition to her kidnappers. Gosh, I was stressed, excited, and confused.
I may be a psychologist, but I am a mother too with all of those confusing thoughts and feelings that come along with motherhood.
So, I too had the urge to text my daughter constantly during those first few weeks of college to see that she was eating, sleeping, and making friends. I can tell you from my role as a mom and psychologist what is helpful and what is not so helpful during the first few weeks of transition to college.
1. Ask your kids about their new friends instead of asking if they are studying enough.
2. Ask if they are having fun instead of asking if they are spending enough time in the library.
3. Do not tell them how empty their rooms look and how you have shut the door to their rooms so you don't get upset.
5. Text them a photo of the dog instead of yet another text expressing your love. This may be a little bit easier for them emotionally.
Now, how to take care of yourself as a parent during this period of separation anxiety.
1. Take up a new hobby instead of staring at photos of your child.
2. Read a book rather instead of sitting around feeling sorry about yourself.
3. Fill the void with an activity that you didn't have time for before instead of focusing excessively on your other kids.
4. Talk to your partner instead of yourself.
5. Think about how wonderful it is that your child is in college instead of thinking about where the time went.
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