Maybe hate is a strong word, but your guy & best friend(s) can’t seem to sync socially. What gives?
Ok, maybe hate is too strong a word. Maybe a less harsh phrase like "incompatible personalities" lands a little softer. But for whatever reason, your guy and your best friend(s) can't quite seem to get in sync socially.
Whether there are constant, overt personality clashes or very subtle and consistent tensions between the most important people in your life, the long-term effects are no less devastating.
And poor you. Stuck in the crossfire. Forced to choose sides while simultaneously attempting to maintain an air of objectivity. Which of course, never works because by trying to stay out of their drama, you're drawn further into the melee by the opposing forces trying to sway your opinion.
And the one thing you know you can't do under any circumstances - you can't pick sides.
And while there's no surefire way to prevent the ones you love from sparring, you can at least arm yourself with a bit of insight on why your guy may be having clashes with your friends. I've got 5 typical reasons for the bad blood.
1. It's your fault. You're the person who's been filling your friend's head with stories about your guy's least attractive qualities. It's difficult for your friends to like someone whom they perceive to be less than worthy of you. Guys do not want you sharing every little detail of your relationship with your friends. Even though we know you do it.
2. Your friends are right about him. He's a bad seed and you simply can't see it. But your friends do. What's worse is that he knows that your pals have figured him out, so there's a constant cat and mouse game being played. Him trying to prove that your friends are paranoid haters. And them trying point out his truly a-hole-ish tendencies.
3. Something fishy is going on. Hate to say it, but maybe you're being played. Your guy and your friend could be doing some secret shagging and they're pretending to not get along to throw you off. You remember how it was in elementary school. You'd be mean to the boy you liked? Yeah…that can happen with grown ups. Is that a pessimistic bit of conjecture? Yes. Is it impossible? Nope. Keep your eyes open.
4. They're embarrassed and actually angry at YOU. Either your guy or your friend may have proven that they're an utter mess socially. Public drunkenness, foul language, inappropriate comments, belligerence, any of those traits rank high on the undesirable scale. Each may be perfectly willing to accept that you've chosen this person in your life but they're not at all thrilled that you keep forcing that person's bad behavior on the other.
5. Jealousy. Short and sweet. Each is simply unhappy about the amount of time you spend with the other. He thinks you're way too into going out for girls' night out. So he feels neglected. Your friends hate that you've added this guy to your life who seems to be monopolizing the time that once belonged to them. This man is taking their friend! How dare he!
SO, there you have it. I'm sure your own experiences have fallen into one of these categories. Or maybe not. Let us know!