5 Marriage Secrets For Valentine's Day

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5 Marriage Secrets For Valentine's Day
Tips that will improve your marriage for Valentine's Day and beyond!

By Author Dr. Harriet Lerner, Ph.D., for GalTime.com

Valentine's Day is the holiday for romance and romantic gestures. Why not take advantage of this day dedicated to love to improve your marriage? With a few simple switch-ups, you can put some practices in place that will improve your marriage for Valentine's Day and beyond!

1. Pick three things to warm his heart. Celebrate Valentine's Day by practicing kindness and generosity, even if your partner is behaving badly. Do the little things that make him or her feel loved, valued and chosen. Remember that you can communicate interest, generosity and love in non-verbal ways, as well as with words and language. A simple gesture such as a hand on a back, a nod or a smile can make your partner feel seen and cared for. Affection Is Key To Keeping Love Alive

No matter how distant your marriage has become, and no matter how dense you claim to be about relationships, come up with three specific actions you can take to make your partner feel loved and respected on Valentine's Day. No expert in the universe knows what warms your partner's heart the way you do. It's deciding in advance what your three things are and actually doing them. That's the hard part.

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2. Give him a break. Tell him what you want. Your partner may be about to blow off Valentine's Day and it's important to you to celebrate. Don't wait until he forgets, as if you're giving him a test that you're waiting for him to fail. Give the poor guy a break and remind him a week in advance. Tell him what you want, even though you think he should know. ("I want you to make a reservation at our favorite Italian restaurant, and I want a Valentine's Day card. And don't forget that I hate flowers!") Don't count on him to have learned from his mistakes from last year.

3. Call off the chase. If you're married to a distancer, Valentine's Day is a good time to call off the chase. Don't use this special day to "process" your relationship and talk about how the two of you never talk. Instead, just talk. Don't pursue him. Valentine's Day is not the time to bring up your partner's lack of warmth, interest, and attentiveness, or to compare him unfavorably with your best friend's romantic husband. If, say, you go to a movie and you're upset that he doesn't hold your hand or seem to acknowledge your presence, let it go. When you leave the theater, just talk about the movie. Surprise him with praise, just when he imagines you're going to hit him with criticism.

This article was originally published at . Reprinted with permission.
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