Gladding says: “This is very tempting-- and people do it for all kinds of different reasons. Is he talking with an ex? Is he cheating on me? Is he getting me that ring? Invading someone’s privacy in this way almost never leads to a good outcome and often results in mistrust and resentment. Rather than snooping, look at his behavior. Is he acting like he normally does or has something changed? For example, is he coming home at night at the usual time? Is he following his usual routines? Is he attentive and loving with you or is he distracted?
The bottom line is that if you do not trust him, checking his email and texts is not going to improve your relationship. You might need to have a conversation with him about your concerns and/or consider whether you trust him enough to be in a relationship with him at all.”
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Bad Habit #5: Having serious conversations via electronic media
How to Break it: Wait to say it face-to-face
Gladding says: “Although emoticons have helped some J, having a serious conversation via email/text is a big mistake. Not only are you unable to tell his tone, you are missing eye contact, body language and other vital information. And, while the phone or Skype might be an alternative in urgent situations, it’s still not the same as being in the same room with someone.
I can’t tell you how many fights get started this way when really it was a misunderstanding in how someone read the text and assumed subtext. In most cases, the entire misunderstanding could have been avoided if the two people talked in person. This is why I always recommend meeting in person if you need to discuss something important, especially if there is a chance one of you might misinterpret what’s being said.
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