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how to break up with your head held high
You know it’s time to move on from your current relationship, but every time you think of it, you cringe.
You hate to be the bearer of heartache, so you’ve been putting it off. But now things are getting worse: he knows something’s up, the irritations are piling up, or the energy is draining you.
Bottom line? You’ve got to woman up and get the job done so you can both move on with your lives.
But not just any break up will do. How you call it quits is important. It can either be so ugly that it makes it hard to move on or, if done elegantly, it can be a useful springboard to your next relationship. Thankfully, there are some savvy exit strategies which will ensure that both you and your new ex are able to transition as smoothly as possible from one romance to the next.
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EXIT STEP 1: CHANGE YOUR VIEWPOINT
As long as you think about breaking up as breaking his heart, it’s hard to take the plunge. But the truth is, if you aren’t the right match, then splitting now is the biggest gift you could possibly give him and yourself. Because then you’ll both be free to pursue the right relationship that can last. So take a moment to adopt a new mindset and go into the next steps knowing you are giving him the most precious gift possible: his freedom to be loved.
EXIT STEP 2: GIVE A HEADS-UP
Nothing, and I do mean nothing, is worse than being blind-sided by a breakup. When it seems like a breakup comes out of the blue, it’s truly traumatic. People hate to feel out of control, like something is being done to them, rather than participating in a decision. So never let The Conversation be the first time you’ve talked about going your separate ways. When things start to get hairy, be sure you bring it up clearly, and attempt to problem solve. Then, if the problems aren’t resolving, it won’t be a surprise to anyone, and emotional preparations will have paved the way to separate.
EXIT STEP 3: HAVE THE CONVERSATION, GRATITUDE-STYLE