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When I was planning my wedding, I had a recurring nightmare. It was the big day and I was wearing my beautiful white wedding gown... and then I tripped down the stairs and broke my nose. Not only did I have a cast on my nose (!) while walking down the aisle-- but my gown was all stained with blood. Thankfully, it was only a bad dream.
Many soon-to-be brides feel start feeling stress about their wedding as soon as Mr. Right slips that engagement ring on their finger. It's not about getting cold feet, but rather all the details and potential issues that arise while putting together a wedding. This anxiety can cause strange dreams, panic attacks, loss or increase of appetite, restlessness and much more. Here are some strategies for working through wedding-related stress.
1. Communicate. Communication is key, and is good practice for marriage. For example, when dealing with an over (or underinvolved) fiance, know that emotions are running high and good communication goes a long way. When you are in a calm and non-reactive mood, talk to your soon-to-be spouse, address what is causing your frustration and calmly explain how you feel and what your needs and hopes are. If you have a hard time with a face to face discussion, simply write him a brief letter. Stick to the facts, don’t insult and don’t blame. Keep it short and to the point and wrap up your presentation telling him how much you love and appreciate him.
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2. Talk to a Friend. Have a “Bitch Session” with your best-friend. Bitch Sessions have a short time limit and are reciprocal. Allow yourself 15 minutes to complain about your wedding related issue and then another 15 minutes to listen to your friend’s complaints. Then switch to light or humorous topics, ending your time together on a happy note. You'll both feel better and get your mind off your own troubles for awhile.
3. Seek Professional Help. If you’re truly overwhelmed, go to professional counseling or meet with a clergy member. There is nothing wrong with having a neutral person who is trained and objective, support you and give solid, workable solutions. Some couples even elect to go for couples therapy simply as a training exercise. Evolving from “single” to “couple” is a transition and becoming better educated on how to approach new territory is never a bad idea.