Talking to a family therapist can save your relationship.
You are probably reading this because you love your partner but it feels like you are not getting along. You might even started wondering if you are going to make it as a couple. This is the time when talking to a family therapist can be really useful. Not sure how? Here are some of the ways in which family therapy can save your relationship.
1. Uncover the real issues—The first advantage to seeking help from a family therapist is that family therapy helps you to uncover the real issues that you are dealing with. Many couples fight over money, sex, kids, messines, family and communication but often those problems are fueld by other root cause issues. By going to see a family therapist you can discover the reall cuases and therefore be able to resolve things more effectively.
2. Talking to friends is not enough—When we have problems in our relationships, we often lean on friends and family for support. Many of us confide in close friends and seek advice from other family members about the problems that we are facing in our relationships. When we confide in these people, they only ever get to hear one side of the story and are, therefore, never really presented with a full picture of what is really going on. Remember that our view on the problems we are struggling with will naturally be biased, so the story your friends and family hear is biased also. You may find that their advice is for you to leave the relationship when in fact you are right for one another. When you bring these issues to family therapy, the family therapist will listen to all sides of the problem and be able to see things from both perspectives. In this sense, the family therapist get s fuller picture and better able to offer guidance and advice on how to go about solving those problematic dynamics.
3. Learn what you can do—Being stuck in relationship conflict often means being stuck in a blame game. It is common for partners to get caught on identifying all the ways in which their partner should change to make things better. Of course, by constantly criticising you partner and telling them what you think is wrong you will only provoke a defensive reaction from them and this creates further stuck conflict. Family therapy is aimed at highlighting each partner’s role in the conflict and identifying each partner’s responsibility in making things better. The family therapist will help you to see the ways in which you, yourself, can make changes to improve upon the relationship.
4. Reclaim your love—Of course, when couples are stuck in conflict and find that their arguments are always escalating and never getting resolved, it is difficult to see the positives in one another, or the relationship itself. When you attend family therapy, you will be given a range of activities and assignments to do that will help you to re-gain the positives in the relationship. The family therapist will work towards connecting you in a more positive way and teach you how to appreciate one another again. Essentially the family therapist will guide you into creating a stronger connection and a better friendship in your relationship.
5. Small changes can make a big difference—Couples who are stuck in their conflict often feel overwhelmed by what is happening. They feel that massive changes need to occur in order for the relationship to work and often this is enough to scare them off completely. By attending marriage counseling you allow the family therapist to assess the situation quickly from both perspectives and highlight the little changes that can be made to make a big difference. This is the benefit of seeing a family therapist as he/she is trained in identifying the smaller and manageable changes that are required to get the relationship functioning well again. In this sense, your family therapist will be able to highlight small ways in which you can make each other feel loved and cared for again.
I hope the benefits of seeing a family therapist are clearer now. If you are still unsure about it check out this video on youtube for more information. If you decide to pursue it there are certain things you should know about making the most out of therapy.
More marriage advice from YourTango:
- Love: Tips & Expert Advice
- How To Save Your Marriage When You Feel Hopeless
- Marriage: Tips & Expert Advice