Want to stay single and miserable this holiday season? Try these three, simple techniques:
1. Focus on the romantic relationship you don't have. Are you "incomplete" because you don't have a man? At the core, women who can't be happy while single are typically not comfortable with themselves. Being alone really means being with yourself. If you don't like yourself, it will always be difficult to be single.
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The problem with trying to find love outside of ourselves is that we become dependent on other people's opinions of who we are. This holiday season, decide that you will learn to have a truly, honest to goodness great time. Don't fake it, because you are the one who will miss out.
Instead, focus on the love you do have. Cultivate the self-love. Focus on two things you love about yourself, and celebrate those two things. Invest in the people who invest in you. Intimacy is not romance. Intimacy is the result of opening up and being known for who you are. Focus on the two people you can be yourself with, and spend time with them this holiday seaon.
2. Set unrealistic expectations. Is your goal to find your spouse this month? Or, to get your significant other to move in with you? What if it doesn't happen this month — would you consider this season to be a total failure? Placing our expectations on what other people will do or not do is a sure way to mess up our love life. It is also a surefire way of messing up a New Year's resolution.
Do you like ice skating? Do it, with friends or alone, but do it. Do you like dancing? Do it. Are you a book worm? Find two books to read this holiday season. Is hanging out with friends what fills your cup?
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Book your party schedule, and make sure you host a party too. How about go to one party every weekend, or meet five new friends, or stick to my healthy eating plan ... the options are endless. When we set goals, they must be within our own realm of influence. This means that you cannot set goals that require other people taking action. Realistic expectations are those that you can achieve with only your own effort. Continue reading ...
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