As a dating a coach I have been learning more and more about what makes a woman attracted to a man. Sometimes the answer is a simple one and I can tell just by observing my client, what is wrong or right. However, other times I am completely stumped. Most of my clients are like this, very successful in every other aspect of their life and yet have never had a girlfriend or an intimate relationship with a woman. I learned quickly that money doesn't get anyone girlfriends. Sure it MIGHT help, but most of the time it works against them. Most guys love using that limiting belief "only guys with money get the girl". I found that the qualities they were missing were obvious, yet counter-intuitive.
I've found one of the most valuable qualities a man can have is another woman interested in him. This was confusing at first, because when I see a guy next to a girl my first impression is she's taken. Then I remembered every time I had a good looking girlfriend, other good looking women were everywhere, but as soon as we broke they would be no where in sight. I always thought my ex-girlfriend had left a scent of rejection on me.
I remember reading a study about 20 women who were shown 20 different pictures of men. They were to rate them on a number scale. After they had made their evaluations they were then showed the same pictures, but this time they were told if the man was desired by the other women in the survey. ALL of the women changed their answers according to whatever man was "wanted" by the others.
I had to know why it is that we think so differently. It comes down to evolutionary psychology. Women are genetically programmed to be attracted to men with certain traits. Some of these traits are:
- being a leader of men
- protector of loved ones
- believer in a greater cause
- has a purpose
- pre-selection from other women.
Most women I have spoke to aren't aware of this. In fact they tend to argue the fact. Still, the fact is that attraction is something that is "hardwired" in a woman's brain.
So how does this help my clients? I mean if he doesn't have a woman to begin with how does this information help? Well first off most guys have a girl who's just their friend and most of the time don't realize that a women can be the best "wingman". The way I use this for my clients is I have them approach EVERY woman, not to "pick up", but to make acquaintances so when that girl he does want walks in, every girl in the place seems to know him. I show my clients how easy it is to get two women to face him and look attentive; and just how powerful this simple angle can be.
Women, have you ever noticed being more attracted to a man after, say your friend or another woman, was interested in him? Almost every girlfriend I've had, has been fine with our break-up until I start dating someone else. Then all the sudden, the guy they broke up with me for, isn't as interesting as I am and she's finally realizing how much she misses me. This kind of thing was confusing to me then. Knowing the facts not only shed light on one of many mysteries that make women unique and intriguing, it made me realize how powerful pre-selection from other women can be.
by Jon Wainwright, CPC