It happens. You are excited, eager and giddy to meet this potential special someone. You are mentally saying his last name after yours to see if it has a certain ring to it. You've already named your first pet and planned your first trip together - and this is all during appetizers.
When there is an instant connection with someone, you instantly feel like you could spend hours and hours talking and getting to know each other better. Although this can be a great sign of chemistry and a possible love connection, it's also important to err on the side of caution when deciding what to share and what to save for later.
Once you have broken through the surface topics, go gingerly into the deeper epidermal of your being. You may not know if you've gone too far. The signs may not be as obvious as suddenly you find yourself crying or your date seems to keep looking at his phone hoping there's a newly added escape app in the iTunes store.
Follow these simple tips to keep the conversation in the shallow side of the pool and avoid going over to the deep end.
- Talk about family. You can discuss your relationships without disclosing intimate family dynamics such as your uncle is a raging alcoholic, your sister is on her fifth rehab stint or your Dad is on the no-fly list because of possible terrorist connections.
- Talk about friends. Letting him know who you partners in crime are is good. Telling him they are literally your partners in crime and your crew regulary partakes in scandalous activity is not so good.
- Talk about work. It's fair to say most people have a love-hate relationship with their career. It's okay to discuss what you don't like, such as long hours or a crabby boss, it's not okay to say you want to recreate a scene from Horrible Bosses and kill your boss. It may be funny, it may even be true - but it's not ok to say. Ever.
- Talk about health. Are you active? Do you enjoy biking, running or yoga? Great! Embrace your fitness lifestyle. But if you just found out you have high chloresterol, need a biopsy on a new found lump on your leg or suffer from chronic flatulence, leave those tidbits out of the convo. That last one - they may figure out for themselves.
- Talk about politics. No. Don't. Or religion. Unless you are both of the same card carrying, religious affiliation - just leave this topic off the table. If it comes up, tell the waiter to take it away. Immediately.
It can be very tempting to want to bare your soul to someone that you have made an instant connection. However, after all of the information has processed, the next day things may seem less like a conversation and more like a confessional. Treat your date like a date and not your priest. Stick to Dating 101 and Keep It Simple, Sweetheart.
Contributed by Kimberly James, MatchMaster & Dating Expert, www.findyourplusone.com