Online Dating Dilemma: Why Haven't They Texted Me?


Online Dating Dilemma: Why Haven't They Texted Me?
You've made a connection but now there's no communication. Wondering why? These answers might help.

“Like I just don’t get it we were talking and everything was going so well, why aren’t they answering??” Well, things are truly not going well until there is one date and a conversation after that first date. Like I have said and will say countless times more, the majority of people online dating are talking to more than one person and will drop communication with whomever else if they meet someone and have a somewhat of a connection with them. Don’t take it personally! They have never met you! Move on to the next and be done with it. I have been the person to text someone a few weeks later saying something like “Hello stranger what ever happened” and I have gotten a response… but at that point do you want to meet someone like that ? Someone who comes up with a weak response that "life has been busy the past two weeks"? Nope.  So don’t even bother.


More from YourTango: Five Ways to Cure Being Chronically Single

Situation 3: When someone blows off plans.
So you have gotten to the point in conversation where you are comfortable and want to meet the other person.  You make plans and the other person keeps cancelling last minute with different excuses. Now many things could be taking place. This person could be scared, busy, has no interest in ever meeting but enjoys conversation, is currently in a sticky situation with another person that is back and forth, or just simply flaky. Whatever the reason, you do not want to waste time getting to know someone for weeks or months if you are never going to get to meet them. After the third or fourth attempt straight out ask, “So are we ever going to get a chance to meet?” If they give a simple response like “Yea” or “Of course I’m sorry just been really busy.” You could respond with a genuine response similar to this based off the situation, “Okay good because I am looking forward to meeting you just seems you are always busy and I’m not sure if that’s the case or if you are nervous about meeting or maybe have something else going on but when you definitely have time get back to me and we will figure something out.” Then you need to be distant. You laid it out there that you wanted to meet.  You called out the busy and nervous factors and now you need to become distant and if they are truly interested they will make the effort. Honestly, odds are they won’t though.

More from YourTango: Ten Ways to Be a Better Online Dater

If you are asking yourself anymore “Why” questions please comment and I’ll answer away… I am almost 100% certain I have been in the situation your questioning on numerous occasions.

Contributed by Kristin Waters, Online Dating Expert. Kristin is just a woman in her mid twenties who has been on way too many first dates to count. She has experienced it all from good to bad and now just wants to guide others to happiness. Learn more about her online dating experiences and adventures at

Share this with someone you love (or even like a lot)!

Let's make it
FB official
Recent Expert Posts
Multi-Ethnic Senior Women In Swimming Pool

Make New Friends, Keep Good Friends

Once you have a clear idea of the kinds of friendships you would enjoy, you can decide to create mor

Cooking Together

6 More Eco-Conscious Ideas For A Better World And A Better You

Here are six tips on how you can have sex more consciously and also be kind to the environment.

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

How to find the right pro for you
10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

YourTango Experts can help your business go from good to great.

10 Steps To Improve Your Coaching Business

Take your coaching business from mediocre to great in no time…

Frequently Asked Questions About YourTango Experts

Thinking of joining? Here's all the facts you need to know to make the most of your membership.

Getting Your Guy To Join You In A Therapy Or Coaching Session

So how can your get your strong, self-reliant, superman to talk to an Expert with you?

Therapist/Counselors: Who We Are & What We Do

What exactly does a therapist/counselor do and can they really help?

See more resources>