Stereotypes of singles and those using online dating services are abound, but the reality is that many quality people are looking for love in cyberspace. How do you find one of these people? By becoming one yourself, of course!
Relationship scholars know that shared characteristics are key to attraction, so if you want to find a well-adjusted, healthy, optimistic partner, you’ll want to develop those characteristics in yourself. Your grandmother was right: Misery attracts misery and happy attracts happy. Ironically, then, the person who is a happy single is most attractive to those seeking a long-term relationship.
Cultivating these characteristics, however, may not be easy, given that many people carry around a great deal of unresolved emotional baggage from previous relationships. What we often fail to understand is that the cure for a broken heart isn’t to find a new relationship ASAP. Instead, taking the time to deal with the loss of a relationship and all that it stood for, in conjunction with getting back to being happy on your own, may be just what the love doctor prescribes for finding relationship happiness in the future.
A new partner can’t make you happy in the long term; that kind of happiness is something you develop and bring into a relationship with you. Taking the time to cultivate happiness when you are single will optimize your chances of finding a quality partner in the long run. Worst-case scenario? You’ll be a happy single person, but we bet that scenario won’t last long if you want to change it. When you’re ready to share your happiness with someone new, come see us. We’ll help you find your special someone!
Contributed by Dr. Stacey MacKinnon, Social Psychologist for eMatchopolis