With the recent announcement of Bethenny Frankel & Jason Hoppy’s marriage coming to an end, “soon-to-be divorced” becomes their current relationship status. This transition period of deciding to no longer be together to a finalized divorce can be a lengthy and emotional time period. Similar to the limbo period between heaven and hell, the waiting for closure can create a place of purgatory for even the strongest of people.
It would be very easy to spend this time in mourning for the death of a relationship.
Although it is a normal and healthy process to acknowledge the ending, it’s also a time to recognize a new beginning. This time can be used for self-improvement and re-evaluation.
Jennie Garth used the transition time before her divorce to Peter Facinelli finalized to focus on her children, new work projects and on improving her health and fitness. Finding healthy outlets to transfer emotions to is not only beneficial to healing, it’s a way to reconnect with life.
While falling out of love, there are various ways to start the process of falling back into life.
1) Connect. Spend time with friends and family members who will support you and the decision that is being made. Being around others who have your best interest at heart can help you draw love and support from them. They can pick you up when you are feeling down.
2) Involve. Get involved with other parts of your life that you may have been neglecting. Become more active in your children’s activities, do an early spring cleaning on your house or pick up a new hobby. Becoming active in the things that bring you joy will bring more happiness into your life.
3) Exercise. It can be as simple as a daily 3 mile walk or as challenging as preparing for an upcoming marathon. Exercise is a stress reducer and naturally increases endorphins, the feel good brain chemical associated with happiness. Get your body moving and you will be start feeling better, one step at a time.
4) Plan. Envision and begin to design how you want your life to look a year from now. Create a vision board or start a journal. Plot out how you want your life to be and move in the direction of making those new dreams come true.
The end of a relationship is also the start of a new beginning. By embracing the “what could be” with positivity and grace, you are allowing yourself a gentle compassion and kindness needed as you go from one stage of your life to the next.
Kimberly James is the Chief Love Officer, MatchMaster and Dating Expert for FindYourPlusOne.com.