How To Set Limits With Kids And Avoid The Power Struggle (EXPERT)
By Fern Weis. Posted on .
Do you have trouble saying 'no' to your kids? Parents have to set clear expectations, as well as personal boundaries. At a recent "Step In or Step Aside" event, one mom talked about taking her daughter shopping, and going to multiple (more than 5) stores in order to find just the 'right' jacket (style and label). While she was frustrated, and exhausted, it hadn't occurred to her to just say no.
So what do you do? You set up some ground rules before you go.... "I have this much time, and will be happy to take you to up to three stores. And then we're done. So keep that in mind as we do our shopping." Be clear, reasonable, and firm.
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Many kids have unintentionally been led to believe that their wish is our command, and we will go to the ends of the earth for the important, and the trivial. How will they ever learn what is reasonable and respectful of other people's time, energy and good nature? It starts with us, their parents. And you don't do their self-esteem any good by giving in to all their demands.
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So take a stand, moms and dads! This isn't a power struggle. It's not about coming out on top. It is, as always, about teaching respect, and preparing our kids to function on their own when the time comes. Do it for them.
Where will you draw your line the sand? Only you know for sure what your bottom line is. Better to think about it beforehand, than to to end up resentful.
(For more parenting tips, and your "Effective Parent/Successful Child" Jumpstart Kit, go to www.yourfamilymatterscoach.com. They are free for the taking.)
