I want to share a story with you about Kelly and Greg. When I first met Kelly, she and her husband, Greg, were literally driving to the attorney's office to sign their divorce papers when they decided to stop at my office! They were ready to end their marriage of 14 years. For some time, (years actually) neither had been happy. There had been attempts to change, but things always fell apart. It had been years since either Kelly or Greg felt good about their relationship. In fact, they stayed together just for the kids. Does this sound familiar to you? There was much sleeping on the couch and in the spare bedroom. They were constantly battling over the smallest issue—which only led to bigger issues. Threats and yelling at one another became an almost everyday thing. They both desperately wanted to be accepted and loved, but neither felt it. The more each tried, it seemed the further they moved apart. They tried therapy, self-help books, seminars, but nothing seemed to make a difference. It seemed as if they were stuck in a vicious cycle. They knew they needed to change things in their relationship, but they just didn't know how. I'm not going to try and convince you that I was able to undo years of fighting, struggling and disappointment in a day, but with what they learned in my office that day, they decided to put their impending divorce on hold.
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Within a few weeks, there was a dramatic transformation in their marriage. There were no angry arguments that went without purpose. There was no "living like roommates" or sleeping on the couch, or name-calling, or tearing-down of each other. Their previously sexless marriage saw sparks of true pleasure and intimacy again.
Last week, Kelly called to invite me to their anniversary and "re-commitment" ceremony. Most marriage therapists are not trained to be marriage counselors. They receive their training in traditional, individual therapy and add marital counseling to their practice after the fact. In other words, most marriage therapists have little expertise in helping a troubled marriage. When they do offer marital counseling, they usually use outdated, ineffective strategies that were never intended to help truly troubled marriages.
Don't waste time, money and your future on someone who doesn't care about your marriage. Let me help you.
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