Love Life Makeover

How Saying "No" Can Improve Your Love Life

By , ,

the word "no"
YourTango Experts teach us how saying "no" can lead to a better love life.

How to say "no" when you're used to saying "yes"
Is saying "yes" easy for you? Does saying "no" raise fears of rejection, conflict, even punishment? "No" got its bad rap when we were labeled "Terrible Twos" for claiming our independence. This conflict around saying yes or no is integral to how we live and participate in relationships. People pleasers fear "rocking the boat." Being reluctant to state what you want and don't want robs you and those around you of creating loving, authentic, nurturing relationships.

"No" is seen as selfish at best and heretical at worst. What if selfish means not letting others influence you? What if your relationship with you is key to your emotional, physical and spiritual health, and to the health of your relationships? Ignoring your needs to please others fosters depression, exhaustion, confusion, obesity and illness. How do you change? 9 Signs of A Healthy Relationship

More from YourTango: Escape Plan: This Is The Best Excuse For Leaving A Bad Date

Your life is your movie! As the director and star, you are top priority in the one relationship you are in charge of creating. Here are a few tips:

More from YourTango: Love Bytes: How Often Are Other Couples Having Sex?

1. Release FEAR (False Evidence Appearing Real). If you're rejected for saying "no," what is that person contributing to your life? Their actions speak volumes about them and nothing about you.
2. Practice unconditional love. This is vital to a vibrant and fulfilling relationship. Learn to say "no" to judging, criticizing, punishing, neglecting and/or abusing yourself. Say "yes" to loving, nurturing words and actions that support you.
3. Know you always have a choice. Choose for you! When contemplating options, ask what feels lighter or heavier. If it feels lighter, it is your truth. If it feels heavier, it is a lie for you.
4. Give from the overflow. Choosing what brings you joy fuels your optimism, happiness, and energy to overflowing, thus inspiring and helping others to choose for themselves.
Judith Joyce, Life Coach

Share this with someone you love (or even like a lot)!

Let's make it
FB official
Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Joe Amoia

Dating Coach

Dr. Joe Amoia, is the founder and creator of Smarter Dating For Women And The Ultimate Relationship Program. He is also the author of the soon to be published book, Smarter Dating For Women.

Dr. Joe's unique approach to dating and realtionships is based on his 5 Step Relationship Success Formula, The same formula he used to find & meet his wife in less than 90 days.

To receive a copy of his free 5 day mini-ecourse, The 5 Biggest Mistakes Women Make in Dating Men click here

Location: Hillsdale, NJ
Credentials: DO
Specialties: Dating/Being Single Support, Empowering Women, Matchmaking, Other
Recent Expert Posts

How To Get Back Your Ex [VIDEO]

Dr. Diana Kirschner attempts to reconcile YourTango's Love Life Makeover winner with her ex.

date

How To Start Dating Again After A Breakup [VIDEO]

Dr. Diana Kirschner helps YourTango's Love Life Makeover winner date after a breakup.

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

Resources
How to find the right pro for you
10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

YourTango Experts can help your business go from good to great.

10 Steps To Improve Your Coaching Business

Take your coaching business from mediocre to great in no time…

Frequently Asked Questions About YourTango Experts

Thinking of joining? Here's all the facts you need to know to make the most of your membership.

Getting Your Guy To Join You In A Therapy Or Coaching Session

So how can your get your strong, self-reliant, superman to talk to an Expert with you?

Therapist/Counselors: Who We Are & What We Do

What exactly does a therapist/counselor do and can they really help?

See more resources>
HOT STUFF!
FROM OUR PARTNERS