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How Saying "No" Can Improve Your Love Life

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the word "no"
YourTango Experts teach us how saying "no" can lead to a better love life.

Yes or No? How to decide
Step 1: Take some time to get clear and write about what you really want in romance and life so you can more easily identify which requests truly support your goals. A study from Harvard University shows that people who write down their life goals and regularly consider them when making choices are 97 percent more successful in building the lives they want than people who do not have clear life objectives. 9 Steps To Setting And Reaching Relationship Goals

Step 2: To make saying no easier give yourself some time and space to consider your options and reconnect with your goals. If someone you are with asks you to do something you feel conflicted about, let them know you need to get back to them about it. Likewise, if you think someone is texting or calling with a request that may not serve your (and, so, ultimately their) best interests, do not respond right away. Review your goals before listening to messages, considering texts or agreeing to in-person requests. If the offer doesn't support your life or relationship objectives, email them back saying "no" to the request because it just won't work for you at this time—no explanation needed. It's best to email rather than call, text or talk in person when declining an offer because there is less opportunity for the other person to try to convince you to change your mind.

More from YourTango: Less Tweeting, More Talking: Why Twitter Killed Your Relationship

Step 3: Remember that your time and energy is precious, so it's important to focus in on building the kind of relationships and life you want. Each time you say "no" to something that doesn't serve your highest goals, it opens more room for saying "yes" to what will fulfill you. You saying "no" also ensures you don't waste the other person's time.
Eve Agee, Life Coach

More from YourTango: In A Dating Rut? Try The Scavenger Hunt Of Awesomeness!

Next: How to say "no" when you're used to saying "yes"

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Article contributed by
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Joe Amoia

Dating Coach

Dr. Joe Amoia, is the founder and creator of Smarter Dating For Women And The Ultimate Relationship Program. He is also the author of the soon to be published book, Smarter Dating For Women.

Dr. Joe's unique approach to dating and realtionships is based on his 5 Step Relationship Success Formula, The same formula he used to find & meet his wife in less than 90 days.

To receive a copy of his free 5 day mini-ecourse, The 5 Biggest Mistakes Women Make in Dating Men click here

Location: Hillsdale, NJ
Credentials: DO
Specialties: Dating/Being Single Support, Empowering Women, Matchmaking, Other
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