YourTango Experts teach us how saying "no" can lead to a better love life.
When it comes to finding true, everlasting love it is very important to give up the good to go for the great. This often requires a person to say "no" when they feel compelled to say "yes." Going against a person's true desires and compromising one's standards does not lead to the long-term, happy & fulfilling relationship that most desire.
Why it's important to say "no."
When it comes to commitments, I believe that how a person does one thing in their life is how they do most things. The person that tends to make excuses and play the role of victim in life tends to do the same thing in their relationships. Create Your Strategic Plan For Love
As human beings we are taught that when we put ourselves first we are selfish. As a result we grow up with the mentality that we should puts others ahead of ourselves—at all costs. Instead of taking care of their own needs and happiness, people tend to look to others to make them happy. The way I see it, a person has to be the cake and their mate has to be the icing. If you put icing on dog food, it still tastes like crap.
The best way to know when to say "yes" and when to say "no," is to create a result in which both parties are satisfied with the result or outcome. Very often, especially in relationships, a person will say "yes" and "no" begrudgingly. As a result frustration, anger and resentment builds, ultimately revealing itself as an emotional outburst or immature action.
Those individuals who succeed in their daily life and their relationships have a remarkable ability to turn every choice and decision into a "win-win" situation for all of the parties involved. The right choice or decision never leads to anger or resentment
— Dr. Joe Amoia, Dating Coach
Next: Yes or No? How to decide.