Therefore, if he ever wants to get married, it would probably make sense to start appreciating the 6s and 7's and choose the one that he’s most attracted to, who shares the same values and can be his best friend for life.
I’d think it would be hard to argue with that logic.
So should it be any more controversial if we flip the genders around?
If the 38-year-old woman MBA who owns her own condo, runs marathons, and can complete the Sunday New York Times crossword only likes 9's and 10's… but those same men always a) prefer younger women or b) ultimately break her heart because they’re egotistical, selfish narcissists who only want younger women and aren’t ready to settle down… should she keep holding out for them? Wouldn’t it make much more sense to marry one of the devoted 7's who think she’s the bee’s knees?
Because that would be settling.
And settling is bad.
Therefore, all of these amazing men and women remain single indefinitely. Because They. Will. Not. Settle.
They would rather tilt at windmills, trying to acquire a partner who DOESN’T want them, instead of realizing that the BEST partner for them is the one who WANTS them and VALUES them and thinks THEY are a catch.
And the culprit in all this? Our unrealistic expectations – of how we see ourselves – and of what we expect of our partners.
If you price a candy bar at $100 and there are no buyers, you need to lower the price of the candy bar.
If you think you “deserve” a certain kind of partner – not just someone who is rich, hot, and brilliant, but a rich, hot, brilliant partner who STICKS AROUND – and yet you’ve NEVER gotten him, you need to start considering another kind of partner.
The key is in letting go of the image you’ve been holding onto. Because real relationships aren’t about credentials; they’re about connection. And I truly believe there are thousands of people you can potentially be happy with… if only you didn’t have such a rigid idea of what it looked like.
By thinking you’re “better” than everyone who wants you, you’re eliminating the greatest source of love around – the person who wants you!
And you may be surprised to find that you can be EXTREMELY happy with someone who doesn’t meet your preconceived image of your ideal mate.
I certainly have been.