He’s probably just not that into you.
In fact, he’s probably more into himself.
That means he’s going to be a workaholic – that’s what made him a millionaire.
He’s probably going to be arrogant and stubborn – that’s what happens when you’re a success at everything you do.
He’s probably going to be vain – that’s what happens when you’re told how gorgeous you are.
He’s probably going to be a player – that’s what happens when you have the ability to pick and choose your dates at will.
He’s probably going to be a commitmentphobe – why settle down when you can continue to date a variety of smokin’ hot 10's?
And so, you never really GET George Clooney. Or James Bond. Or that guy you’re lusting over right now. You’re just renting him. And you’re merely overlooking his considerable flaws because of how hot he is.
Guys do the same thing with women, I assure you. The most tempestuous relationship I ever had was also with the hottest woman I ever dated – so hot that she had to hide her profile on Match.com to stem the tide of emails. I held on for four months of hot sex and bragging rights – mixed in with innumerable times of being insulted, emotionally abused, and left at restaurants, parties and weddings. Why did I put up with it? Because she was a 10. And because when she wasn’t acting crazy, she was actually a good girlfriend.
The key is to break the cycle. Stop chasing looks first. Yes, attraction matters, but seriously, it’s a short term high. You’re looking for a relationship to endure for 30 years. You want to spend 30 years walking on eggshells because the hot guy or girl is being selfish or doesn’t let you know where you stand? Go ahead.
But if you want to find something healthy and enduring – and STILL have great sex – try going for a 7 in looks and a 10 in every other area. Kindness, warmth, intelligence, wit, consistency, effort, generosity. These are the things that matter when you’re 50 – far more than whether your partner holds up next to a 26-year-old Maxim or GQ model.
It’s easy to say you’ll never compromise, you’ll never settle, and you’re going to be the one who finds the “perfect 10 – the Rhodes Scholar/ Supermodel/Top Chef. Good luck with that.
Most 10's never develop the life skills that average folks do – which is why, on the whole, they’re not going to be as loyal or thoughtful or empathetic. If that’s okay by you, because, hey, you just can’t help what you’re attracted to, then I wish you good luck.
Just don’t be too surprised if everyone else “compromises” their way into a fulfilling relationship while you keep chasing a dream that never has a happy ending.