Love Doesn’t Happen When You Least Expect It

It was fine when she was too busy for others, but when men were too busy they become "workaholics" or "aloof" or "emotionally unavailable." It didn't occur to her that she was all of the above as well.

If you're a busy person, this should be hitting pretty close to home right now.

The last recommendation I have is for you to broaden your methods. The greatest invention in the world for busy people who are looking for love is online dating. Yet the most common complaint I get is that "it takes too much time and effort."

Well, I've got 3 words for you: Suck. It. Up.

Anything worth having takes effort. You had to fight hard for your education, your job, your promotion, your pay raise. It wasn't bestowed upon you merely because you're worthy.

Yet somehow, in the dating field, everyone seems to think that love should just happen organically. No searching online. No back and forth emails. No screening phone calls. No awkward first dates. No disappearing third dates. In the mind of a busy person, Mr. or Ms. Right should materialize from thin air and come pre-ordered for chemistry, compatibility, values, goals, and humor.

THIS DOES NOT HAPPEN.

If you think it does, you’re going to be waiting a really, really long time.

Online dating gives you far more power and control over your own destiny - but only if you do it right.

Finding a life partner takes a LOT of trial and error. I went out with over 300 people over 15 years before getting married. I'm positive you could do it in less time. But to think that you're going to find a relationship when you go on two dates a year? Yep, that's crazy. Maybe you'll get lucky and fall in love on your twentieth date. But at 2 dates a year, my friend, that won't happen until 2020.

I am very sympathetic to anyone who feels trapped. Work is consuming. Parenthood is consuming. But nothing will change unless you make a decision that it's a priority to change. Your excuses for not dating are unassailable. You are in an impossible position as it currently stands. Which is why you have to make a fundamental shift that creates more life balance. Unless you do, nothing will change, and you'll be in the same exact position next year and the year after.

I can't tell you how many people call me for dating coaching, decide to save their money and do things their way, and call me again two years later. Now they're two years older and two years more frustrated. Why? Because they wanted results, but they weren't willing to work hard to achieve them.

I've staked my entire livelihood on the premise that ANYONE can have success online, thereby avoiding matchmakers, blind date set-ups, and praying for divine intervention.

Just know that change happens when you want it to happen.

Until then, you can tell yourself you're too busy. But you and I both know better.

You're probably not dating because you don't want it bad enough.