The “Golden Rule” of Online Dating
By Evan Marc Katz. Posted on .
Just got off the phone with a client who wanted to know why he hadn't heard back from this woman he'd written to online. He showed me the email correspondence and it was promising. Relatively lengthy, honest, meaty emails. But upon closer inspection, I saw a few glitches that told the whole story. And this is why I'm sharing it with you.
The woman sucked all the fun out of flirting.
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This is REAL common, by the way. Yes, online dating can be a bit of a slog, a chore, a job, but that doesn't mean that you should treat it that way. Just because you're seeking a real relationship doesn't entitle you to an interrogation regarding his past, his present, and his future intentions. Even an innocuous line like "So why is a seemingly great, successful guy like you still single?" can be read as an insult as much as a compliment. Ladies, for your own sake, lighten up! The part before the date is where you're supposed to charm and dazzle us, not bring us down with tales of romantic fantasies dashed.
The guy took the bait and played serious as well.
Hasn't everybody, at some point, had an email conversation that went awry? A simple dialogue that got all messed up due to the computer's inability to convey tone, warmth, sarcasm and eye contact? If you're gonna talk about something serious, face it, you'd probably be better off in person than laying it out there in Outlook. Yet we do it all the time, and we wonder why people don't get the message. So if one party wants to talk about something weighty - the other party would be well served to recommend a phone number exchange. Writing back a serious missive to a serious missive is like playing tennis with a lead ball - it may be possible, but you'll be hard pressed to get it off the ground.?? Despite his best intentions, he proved to be just like all the other guys.
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