How To Healthily Address Relationships With Red Flags


Struggling to look at the red flags in your relationship? Use EFT to acknowledge them

There comes a time in a relationship when we see the red flags, we don’t like something our partner may be doing yet we don’t talk about it. We hope it will go away or change on its own. When we pile on our concerns they bubble up and boil over to create emotional imbalance within us.

If we can experience our feelings within ourselves so we can get clear as to what we need and want in the relationship we have more clarity to  then share and express ourselves fully. Our relationships will actually prosper by speaking our truth.

It seems too simple to share our true feelings especially when we see a red flag, yet at times it is the hardest thing for many of us. Here is a simple EFT - Emotional Freedom Technique Tap to help acknowledge the red flag you keep denying. Once we get out of denial and gain a new awareness can we start doing something about it. By tapping into your feelings you will be able to drum up the courage to be vulnerable and speak your truth.

Here we go:

Where are you tense in your body? Is it in the shoulders, in your stomach, back of your head, etc.? How intense are your body sensations? Rate them between 1 - 10. (1) being low and (10) being high. Now that you have your number. Focus on those intense bodily sensations as we begin to tap.

**Full description of the abbreviations are at the end of this article.

KC Even though I see and feel some red flags in my relationship. I deeply and profoundly love honor and accept myself.
KC Even though I am not clear as to how I feel about my relationship and how the red flags are affecting me ... I deeply and profoundly love honor and accept myself.
KC Even though I’ve been in denial about the red flags in my relationship ... I deeply and profoundly love honor and accept myself.

EB I’m scared to speak my truth
SE I don't even know what my truth is.
UE I know I’ve recognized some red flags.
UN Those red flags have made me feel uncomfortable.
CH I’m unable to be uncomfortable
CB I keep trying to push them down and away.
UA It’s always been uncomfortable to sit with my feelings.
TH I don’t want to feel bad.

EB Maybe I can be still with my uncomfortable feelings about my relationship.
SE Maybe I can allow myself to be uncomfortable just for this moment.
UE I’m scared if I find something wrong in my relationship it will be over.
UN I don’t want to lose this relationship.
CH If I don’t complain maybe it will get better.
CB Maybe if I don’t look at the red flags they will go away.
UA Maybe I will get over it.
TH Maybe it will go away.

EB Who am I kidding? I am only kidding myself.
SE I’m ready to sit with my feelings.
UE I’m ready to acknowledge those red flags.
UN I am ready to look at what scares me.
CH I allow myself to sit with my uncomfortable feelings.
CB I allow my feelings to lead me to where I need to go.
UA I am doing it now. Sitting with my feelings.
TH I’m doing it. I'm acknowledging the red flags.

Take a deep breath. Check in with your body. Did your starting number go up or down? If it went up you can still tap until it goes down. If it does not go down it might be a sign that you need extra support. If it went down a notch, keep tapping until you get it down to a 2 - 3 or zero before tapping deeper into the issue. If you would like extra support reach out to me to book a session face to face or on skype.

**Description of the 9 basic tapping points

KC - Karate Chop. Take your fingers on your right hand and tap the fleshy part on the side of the left hand. Tap on it 3x while repeating the set up statement.
EB - Eye Brow point in between the eyes.
SE - Side of the Eye
UE - Under the Eye
UN - Under the Nose
CH - Chin
CB - Collar Bone
UA - Under the Arm
TH - Top of the Head


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