Self

Become Emotionally Free From Resentments In Your Relationship

I use Emotional Freedom Technique on all my resentments. In the past, my resentments from relationships triggered some serious emotional and physical problems.

Let's say I am on my way to an important meeting that may have taken weeks, months to put together and I am excited that my hard work has paid off. I reach out to a friend or person I am dating for the fourth time, this time to let them know how excited I am. I start to realize that friend or person I am dating has not called me back from the first call.

I start to get upset and focus on why my friend has not called me back. Did I do something? If I did something, why won't this friend say something? Maybe they don't want to be my friend anymore? If they don't, why don't they call to tell me that. Am I suppose to get the hint because they didn't call me back from all the voice mail messages I left? Where is the common courtesy?

The questions keep piling up, trying to remember every detail of what may have gone wrong. Maybe this friend is in the hospital. Maybe they are in hiding, but that can not be because they are posting on social media all day long. They most definitely don't want to be my friend. Now, I'm furious. Why am I furious?

It is in those moments, I go to EFT because my resentment will roll into my very important meeting if I don't release the issue from my consciousness asap. There is a great possibility that my issue with my friend will still be on my mind when I walk into the room of the very important meeting. This could make or break the meeting. 

Immediately, I will start to tap. 

Here is a simple tap to use when resentments start to build:

Let's Begin

Where are you tense in your body? Is it in the shoulders, in your stomach, back of your head, etc.? How intense are your body sensations? Rate them between a 1 — 10. (1 being low and 10 being high). Now that you have your number. Focus on those intense bodily sensations as we begin to tap.

Description of the 9 basic tapping points

KC — Karate Chop. Take your fingers on your right hand and tap the fleshy part on the side of the left hand. Tap on it 3x while repeating the set up statement.

EB — Eye Brow point in between the eyes.

SE — Side of the Eye

UE —Under the Eye

UN — Under the Nose

CH — Chin

CB — Collar Bone

UA — Under the Arm

TH — Top of the Head

First round

KC Even though I have this resentment, I deeply and profoundly love honor and accept myself.

KC Even though I have this resentment towards (fill in the blank), I deeply and profoundly love honor and accept myself.

KC Even though I have this resentment (fill in the intensity level between 1 — 10), I deeply and profoundly love honor and accept myself.

EB I do have this resentment.

SE I don't understand why they don't call me back. 

UE I don't understand what I may have done.

UN I feel like I may have done something wrong, but I don't know what it is.

UC This resentment is building up.

CB Don't they have common courtesy to return my phone call?

UA How come they don't let me know what is going on with them?

TH Maybe they don't want to be my friend.

EB I still have this resentment.

SE Overwhelmed by this resentment.

UE This resentment.

UN This resentment will not go away.

UC Why don't they call me back?

CB Maybe something happened to them.

UA This resentment.

TH This resentment with (fill in the blank) is running my life.

EB This resentment won't go away.

SE I can carry this resentment to my grave.

UE No one has common courtesy anymore.

UN I'm overwhelmed by this resentment.

UC This resentment is running my life.

CB I can't seem to give up this resentment.

UA I can't believe they are treating me this way after all I've done for them.

Second round

KC Even though I have this remaining resentment, I deeply and profoundly love honor and accept myself.

KC Even though I have this remaining resentment, I deeply and profoundly love honor and accept myself.

KC Even though I have this remaining resentment, I deeply and profoundly love honor and accept myself.

EB This remaining resentment.

SE This remaining resentment I'm unable to release.

UE This remaining resentment I have every right to hold.

UN This resentment represents my ego.

UC Do I want to be right or happy?

CB Maintaining this resentment makes me right.

UA Do I want to be happy or do I want to be right?

TH Do I want to be happy or do I want to be right?

EB I'm slowly getting ready to be happy.

SE I'm slowly being OK with being happy as opposed to being right.

UE I'm slowly releasing my resentment.

UN I am slowly releasing my resentment.

UC I don't know if I can release my resentment completely but I am slowing releasing it.

CB I am releasing my resentment.

UA I am slowing releasing my resentment. I may have to come back to this but for now I am releasing my resentment.

TH Releasing my resentment.

Take a deep breath. Check in with your body. Did your starting number go up or down? If it went up you can still tap until it goes down. If it does not go down it may be a sign that you need extra support. If it went down a notch, keep tapping until you get it down to a 2 — 3 or zero before entering the room and sitting down. Comment below and let me know how it went.

You may have to tap more than usual to calm your nerves. You can work on the issue more after the meeting, yet it is important you don't bring your relationship resentments into your business. The point of the exercise is to calm your nerves before going into an important meeting.