Why Men Are Settling For Mrs. Good Enough

to the YourTango newsletter!

FIND AN EXPERT
Advanced SearchKimberly SeltzerDr. Erica  GoodstoneJennifer Chappell Marsh MFT Intern #65184
ProConnect

Are You In An "On Again, Off Again" Relationship? [EXPERT]

By . Posted on .

Are You In An "On Again, Off Again" Relationship? [EXPERT]

I’ve been on again off again w/my ex. My story is a lil complicated. I’ve known my ex as for many years as acqaintences/friends actually since we were kids. My story is complicated because I dont know if the honeymoon phase applys to me considering the circumstances. Things were great in the beginning but my ex is a sort of non-confritational guy and his friend whom is rather was a mutual friend of mine is manipulative and selfish. Anyways, his friend was very angry when he discovered that my ex and I (and how to get a guy back) were together because appearently he liked me himself.

The two of them are in a band together and I know it all seems very highschool. The worse part is about the 2nd month into the relationship I became pregnant. I was scared and devastated and overwhelmed with guilt for being irresponsible. I shortly after had a misscariage it was a terrible time in my life. I was sure it was over now! We seemed to get through it and at first he pulled away a little but wanted to remain friends which was not what he had in mind. He said he just wished my friend wasn’t involved but at the time I had continued to be friends with both of them. I thought the other guy was trully my friend both our parents had died and so we had some ties but I NEVER had any other feelings for him other than as a friend and I made myself clear to both of them on this point. I told my ex that I would not to hang out w/him anymore if he wanted.

Anyways, me and my ex at this point were sleeping together but he didnt want to be in a relationship because he said it had to do with his status and financial situation and that I belong with a guy who has more but I dont care about material things I’m more concerned with someones character and how they treat me. I just feel money situations are actually easier to change than someones personality. Anyways, we had just got back together so to speak things were great he was taking me out to eat and to the movies etc and we were involved sexually at this point. Just a couple of days later my ex and I had coffee with our mutual friend who liked me and well it didn’t go well. Our friend acted like a complete 2 yr. old and my ex started to act different and I could tell he was influenced by his friend. I asked my friend why he was acting like this and he just stormed out of the coffee shop. Me and my now ex talked after he left and he went on about not wanting to be in a relationship and I calmly said even though I was in so much pain after everything I had been through that if thats what he wanted I would accept it but that I could not hang out with him as “friends”.

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Essy Redfield

Dating Coach, Relationship Coach, Sex Coach, Speaker/Presenter

Have the courage to make the difficult choice. You get one shot at this life, now go live it.

Location: Birmingham, BIR, United Kingdom
Credentials: Non-Profit
Other Articles/News by Essy Redfield:

Dating For 2 Years Plus A Messy Breakup [EXPERT]

By

I’ve never done this before, but at this point it doesn’t hurt trying to get some help. My boyfriend and I had been dating for two years, we had been friends since we were 14 (now 19), and had developed feelings for each other when I was 15, him 16. It was constantly us together, all the time and I love it. We finally started dating when I was 17 ... Read more

Advice For Relationship Mistakes [EXPERT]

By

Hi Essy. I really need some advice. Now I saw what you said about the rule of thumb being three months, but my ex and I have been ‘dating’ for about three months and in a relationship for about 6 weeks. I made some major mistakes in our relationship, like the fact that he is always hanging around his female friends, or the fact that he let ... Read more

"It's Complicated..." [EXPERT]

By

I have been dating my bf since November 2010. He was the one who proposed me when I was dragging my relationship with my ex, and when I broke up with my ex, he expressed his feelings towards me. He respected me dating with my ex, and didnt push his feelings onto me, only until I had completely broken up with my ex. Just last year we have been continuously ... Read more

See More

Recent Expert Posts
Press Conference

DeMistyfy Your Dating: Radio Interview: [EXPERT]

And yes, we spelled it that way for a reason! Listen to this humorous interview of Spike and learn!

Running Woman

Post-Divorce Growth…After They Go, Grow [EXPERT]

Identify your positive changes post-divorce. Make it a growth experience!

No Love

Married and Fighting? It May Signify a Solid Relationship

Married couples can be too harmonious. Find out how much discord creates dynamic relationships.

Have a dating or relationship question?
Ask it here and one of our experts will answer it.

Resources
How to find the right pro for you
10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

YourTango Experts can help your business go from good to great.

10 Steps To Improve Your Coaching Business

Take your coaching business from mediocre to great in no time…

Frequently Asked Questions About YourTango Experts

Thinking of joining? Here's all the facts you need to know to make the most of your membership.

Getting Your Guy To Join You In A Therapy Or Coaching Session

So how can your get your strong, self-reliant, superman to talk to an Expert with you?

Therapist/Counselors: Who We Are & What We Do

What exactly does a therapist/counselor do and can they really help?

See more resources>
FROM OUR PARTNERS